Okay, I clearly rarely publish on this side blog, seeing as I last posted back in October. I have not been working toward any race goals since completing the Run for the Toad late in September. I've been lucky to get three runs every week, although I also play soccer once a week, spin once a week, and do a spin and weights class once a week, which adds up to a fair amount of regular exercise, although doesn't exactly point me in a specific goal-related direction.
That's been okay. I just set my routine and show up, basically, and it's certainly enough exercise to keep me fit and happy.
This holiday has given me fewer opportunities to get out and exercise. The classes shut down, and friends are away or busy, so last week I managed to run twice, and play soccer once. I felt incredibly sluggish on this morning's run ... and it had been three days since I'd last done anything. It reminded me of the importance of simply showing up.
It's really easy not to do things. It's so easy! And this is a holiday, and there's a sense, on holidays, of relaxing one's standards, resting, indulging, taking it easy. I'm not so sure that taking it easy sits well with me. I'm not so sure that I don't, in fact, find it more stressful to take it easy than the alternative of a regular, quite strict routine.
Have I lost the ability to have fun?
Or maybe my definition has changed.
I worry that I'm in danger of becoming a joyless puritan. And yet, I don't really enjoy the effects of a night spent drinking. I much prefer the effects of an early morning run. Those two things don't go together at all. (At least, I can't seem to put the two together!)
Anyway, rambling post here. I need my triathlon blog for the rambling posts. I enjoyed this morning's run. I kept it short -- only 7km -- and slow -- I'd forgotten how much the cold and the snow turns my pace to molasses. And yet I got out. I decided last night that I would run this morning, and I got up and ran. It's that simple, that basic. While running I thought about all kinds of subjects. I plotted future running goals: maintaining a Monday morning run (which I did sporadically this fall), and adding in a long run on Saturday afternoons (I haven't done long runs since Thanksgiving weekend, when I decided not to train for the Hamilton marathon). I thought about signing up for the Race Around the Bay at the end of March -- 30km, a nice long distance, but not quite as gruelling as a marathon. I plotted out my training plan: increasing not just distance, but time, each week between now and March. I thought about how it would be lovely to have a goal to work toward that is dependent only on my own fitness and determination (and health, of course!) ... because it could be that this proves to be a tough year, and I may face rejection and failure, there is no telling, as I apply for a couple of different exciting new directions, including midwifery school, The Amazing Race, and various writing grants.
Will I succeed, and be accepted into any of the above? I can only do my best, and hope. But acceptance is reliant on a variety of factors not under my control. Training for a race would put (almost) all of the factors under my control and give me something concrete to work toward, assuming my body could hold up to the increased training. I think I will plan for that, and sign up for the race.
Much feels up in the air about this coming year -- but that's how it always is, isn't it! As my husband says, Things aren't going to work out as you've planned ...
But so often I'm grateful that things haven't worked out as I've planned, because there is so much I can't imagine or foresee, and life is much richer than my own imagination can invent. All of that said, I remain a believer in doing. In not being passive. In setting goals, going deep, doing the work, taking risks, pushing myself on all fronts -- emotionally, physically, spiritually, professionally, personally, communally.
