Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Vent, mama

I'm using this blog to purge. My main blog is too well-travelled and this seems a more private unnoticed blog. Plus, this post is exercise-related. I got out and ran yesterday afternoon! It was the most beautiful day, sunny, clear, no ice. Thankfully I ran yesterday because today we had freezing rain followed by snow. Grey, wet, chilly, slick, treacherous.

On yesterday's run I resolved to end these next two weeks more fit than I started them. Seemed so easy, so possible, as I ran my favourite 12km route, blissfully pushing the pace, appreciating the dry ground underfoot and the fact that my leg wasn't too twitchy, as I call it. I ran the route in 62 minutes, which is slightly off my summer pace, but not too far off. I do have this nagging injury that undeniably slows me down, but it was feeling better yesterday. Everything felt better when I was running. Which is why I came home and immediately emailed my friend Nath and said, "Let's go swimming tomorrow morning!" Then I went and made supper for eleven and cleaned up and hosted and etc. and before I knew it, it was 11:30 and I hadn't checked up on my email. Which is weird for me, as anyone who knows me knows.

So I checked my email. And discovered that Nath had sent two messages, the last just before she went to bed at a reasonable hour, saying she'd see me at our usual time the next morning. Thing is, I was checking email to say, um, maybe no swimming after all. Too tired! She got my on-second-thought message at 5:18am. I was sleeping restlessly in my new office. No swimming for me. Lesson being: don't commit to something immediately after a joyous run? Or: don't commit to something while hosting relatives over the holidays?

I've now got a sick kid (again ...) and another celebratory supper to prepare, and there will be no exercising today. But I'm supposed to get up tomorrow to run with Nina. This is so set in stone that it would be really weird to skip it. I will set an alarm. I will drag myself through the snow. I will pray for a nap tomorrow.

Monday, December 26, 2011

The *&^*ing holidays

Good grief. Today is the first day of the kids' two week holiday from school, but it feels like we've been in holiday mode for a week already. I haven't done anything, exercise-wise, for the longest stretch in probably over a year--I ran early Wednesday morning with Nina and haven't done anything since. Except prepare food and eat food and host and clean and stay up late every single night. I haven't been to bed earlier than 1am since last Wednesday. It's been fun, don't get me wrong, but I'm feeling done with fun and ready to get back to normal--but the kids are on their holiday!!!!!

Also we have family arriving in a matter of an hour or so, and I really should be cleaning/baking/washing dishes/making beds/etc. rather than blogging.

You can call this Swim Mama, Bike Mama, Vent Mama.

I'm a routine kind of gal. Take me out of my routine for a few days and I start to fall to pieces. No early mornings, no running, no yoga, no writing time, no blogging time, no alone time. I'll be certifiable a week from today. But that's okay because THE KIDS WILL STILL HAVE ANOTHER WEEK OFF SCHOOL. What happens--and this is pretty predictable--is that I will start slamming doors and threatening to get a full-time job just so I can get the hell out of the house. How did I ever make it as a full-time stay-at-home mom???? Seriously. I can't believe I ever did it.

Well anyway. I hear the vaccuum working overtime upstairs and I need to go help my husband make some beds.

With any luck, I will find time--no, MAKE time--in these two weeks ahead for running or yoga or swimming and that will save me. (That sounds over-dramatic--I mean, that will keep me pleasant and calm and happy). Because that's all I want for my kids' holiday: to be pleasant and calm and happy so they can enjoy a fun holiday too. So we all can.

(But it doesn't feel like a holdiay to me. I'm going to try to imagine what a holiday would look like, to me. Nothing comes immediately to mind. Would I even like a holiday? Yes, I think I would, if I could just figure out what it would be, how I could relax and rest and feel rejuvenated and refreshed without simultaneously feeling guilty and over-indulgent and worrying that I'm not getting anything done. I'm a fun person. Share your ideal holidays with me, please. I'd love to live vicariously.)

Friday, December 9, 2011

Tiny bit of pride

This morning, I am taking a tiny bit of pride in my week in work-outs. It's been a tough week personally, with a child home sick every day (pneumonia!) and all of the worries that go with that, and there has been no opportunity for evening exercise whatsoever. But I've gotten up early to exercise four out of five mornings, and for that I'm grateful. Grateful that I set my alarm. Grateful to have had that time.

I ran on Sunday evening (11.4km).
Swam Monday morning (2500m).
Spin class Tuesday morning (jelly legs).
Run with my friend Nina Wednesday morning (8.5km).
Yoga class this morning (hot, 60 minutes).

I did not want to get up this morning. I've been so tired. But I didn't get up yesterday morning, and it was a tough tough day, which began with an even tougher morning--I was up before 7 anyway due to other people getting up early. I find I'm grumpier when someone else gets me up early. I'm resentful. That's why setting the alarm and getting up before anyone else can wake me gives me a better start to my day. (Maybe I have control issues?). It's hard to get up early (I am not naturally a morning person). And it's hard to keep doing. But it's worth it. When I set the alarm, I have control over the opening hours of my morning. I'm refreshing my body and my brain. It starts the day in a whole different tone.

I'm hopeful that tonight I'll be running in the snow (and the dark) at my daughter's goalie practice--finally, time for an evening run!

I don't feel very strong these days. I felt pretty awful at yoga this morning ... fatigued and tight in the shoulders. And my leg is still not its robust self.

But I also feel like it's kind of okay to feel not so great, so long as I don't let it stop me. When I'm feeling down or tired I find myself craving comfort from things that are inherently not that healthy--like vegging on the couch and watching TV. I don't really feel better after watching TV. I'm not saying it's always a bad choice, because there are definitely times when we all need to zone out, but it's not the greatest choice to turn to every time, automatically, when feeling tired or down.

It's good to remember that there are other choices. And that tomorrow is another day, another opportunity to set the alarm and rise early to greet it, even if today has been hard.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Back at it: hello, Monday

Ran last night in the pouring cold rain during daughter's soccer practice. I had to go slowly. My leg wouldn't let me go fast. I hope this is temporary! I ran 11.4km in 63 minutes. That's pretty far off my regular pace. But at least I could run, and it felt good, and I didn't even mind the rain. In fact, while I was running I thought, this probably looks crazy, but there's nothing I'd rather be doing right now. I brought dry clothes to change into, and really enjoyed watching the girls scrimmage. I also tried to stretch my legs on the sidelines without looking too much like a crazy lady, which I probably already did due to the sopping hair.

And this morning I got up early for the usual Monday swim. I missed my friend Nath in the pool. She couldn't come because her husband is away and she's one her own with the kids. The water felt really cold at first. I was the very first person to disturb the water, which was pretty cool. I swam at my usual pace, but felt slower due to sharing the lane with my former lane partner, who is an Ironwoman triathlete. Yeah, she's a little faster than me. And then, unfortunately, a third swimmer came into our lane who was very slow and kept doing different strokes. And someone in the next lane over managed to kick me or bump me somehow, which never happens. It started to feel pretty messy by the end. Took all my mental fortitude not to quit early, but I hung in there for the full 2500m.

I will say, I was feeling pretty tired. I suspect Saturday night's festivities had something to do with it. So even though I felt tired and it wasn't fun being passed, I was still patting myself on the back for getting up and doing it. Which is the key, of course. Just get up and do it!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Treatment

I am feeling so lazy! But it hasn't been a bad week. I swam on Monday, went to a 90-minute hot yoga class that evening, did spin class on Tuesday. By that point, the pain in my leg wasn't terrible. It was worst at yoga class, actually, I assume because I was asking those muscles to stretch out and they weren't so into it. Lots of downward dogs. Ouch.

But during my run on Wednesday morning, which is a pretty slow run, my leg felt increasingly sluggish. It felt like I was dragging my leg along. And it hurt. So I decided to go to the osteopath. And yesterday I went. And she said I should take off 24 hours before exercising again, which means that I haven't done anything since Wed's early morning run. And I am feeling like a slug.

But that also means I could attempt a run tonight. She requested that I run slowly and keep it short. That is not how I run. But I will try. Our discussions circled around how to stay healthy and be able to keep running forever, which is my personal goal. I want to be that woman with 57 written in black marker on her calf chugging effortlessly past the woman with 37 written on hers. (This actually happened to me during a race last spring, and I was so impressed by the woman who was kicking was butt.)

Anyway. The point is longevity. And what I'm not doing -- my biggest oversight -- is stretching after a work-out. I need to take time to stretch all the major muscle groups that have been working hard, to give them a chance to relax and settle down. Otherwise: tightness, knots, ropy spots, tension, pain. I'll just come right out and say it: I never stretch. I do a quick dynamic stretch before exercising (though not with any consistency.) And afterward, I just go on with life. In fact, that's one of the reasons I've loved running--I can squeeze a hard work-out into one hour, from the moment I run out the door to the moment I'm back. Then I hop in the shower and presto, on with the tasks at hand. I wonder if even five minutes of stretching might help .... clearly, my legs are telling me to take care.

I will ask my husband the kin for some stretches. We didn't have time yesterday, as she filled the entire appt with treatment (for which I am extremely thankful.) I am also extremely thankful that a friend took my youngest for the afternoon so that I could go to the hour-long appt alone. What was I thinking? I'd been planning to take him along, had a bag of books and activities packed ... and it would have been hellish for all involved. So thank you to last-minute assistance by a friend!

I'll let you know how my next run goes.

I'm also sort of saving my energy for Saturday night when we are going to a crazy dance party. At which I hope not to injure myself.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Running Club ...

I'm not at running club on this rainy Sunday morning. I'm not there not because it's raining (I'll run in any weather), but because I've decided it's not for me, at least not right now.

I've taken two days off, which has sucked, but my leg feels a lot better. I'm going to try going for a run this evening at my daughter's soccer practice. Hopefully with a headlamp affixed to my head! (Still need to acquire headlamp.)

Here is my thinking about running club:

1. I run because it's therapeutic. I feel better about EVERYTHING after a good run, and often, during it too. I love running fast and seeing improvement and getting faster -- but that's not why I run. I run because I love running. Period.

2. I loved my run with the running club, but I have difficulty moderating my effort at the best of times. I want to run pretty much forever. I don't want to over-reach and injure myself. Listen, I wasn't on the track team in university. I'm twenty years older than the kids on the track team now -- and I'm asking myself to run with them and to keep up? The mind is willing, but the body may not be. "I could never push myself this hard all on my own," I said to the coach. And that could be a good thing; but the more I think about it, the more I think it could also be a bad thing. Maybe my body isn't meant to be pushed harder than I can push it all by myself. When I'm trying to keep up, I will push to the very limit and disregard what my body is telling me. I'm not sure that's a good idea.

3. I run when it's convenient. This changes every single week. Running is the most flexible exercise to schedule. I cherish it for being an anytime option. I need anytime options in my exercise life.

4. I don't need a club to motivate me (which is probably why lots of people like running with a group). I like running solo and being alone with my thoughts. A running club could work for that, especially one where we're running really fast. Hard to talk while panting. But there are other running clubs that allow for drop-ins and that are free. If I want to run with others on a dark evening that suits my schedule, those are options.

5. Finally, and related to all of the above, do I want to change something that's working into something different? How fast could I get? It's so tempting to find out. And yet, and yet. I think that's my ego talking. I've gotten pretty fast training all by myself -- and without injuring myself (knock on wood) -- while going for brilliant, happy, unique, memorable, saving runs in all weathers and all seasons, and I want to keep that -- the anytime, anywhere, squeeze 'em in, make 'em count runs.

I'm a little disappointed in myself as I write this. I'm disappointed because part of me wants to be a super-star runner, not just a reasonably fast middle-aged runner. The part of me that is super-competitive is frowning deeply and saying, The least you could do is try! Think how much faster you'd be if you joined this running club! But the other part, the middle-aged runner part, is saying, Listen, I got pretty fast over this past year all on my own. And I am trying! I'm trying to balance improved fitness with the rest of my life.

Truthfully, if this running club allowed me to drop in on occasion, I totally would. I loved the rush. It's the necessity of the commitment that's stopping me cold. I completely understand why the coach needs that commitment; if I were a coach, I'd demand the same thing. But it just doesn't fit with my life -- with the reality of four children and the after-school/evening routine of volleyball, theatre, swim lessons, piano, soccer, dance, homework, supper, and bedtime. I can commit to running. I can even commit to running four, five, six times a week. I just can't commit to when, from week to week.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Ow.

So .... my sciatic nerve was bothering me when I was running last night. It's been bothering me for the past week, nothing major, just twinges. But on the run home from the park it definitely seemed more pronounced. And by "it" I mean the pain.

And then it woke me up in the night.

And this morning I couldn't bend over to touch my toes (I am usually quite flexible.) I tried doing a few sun salutations to get the muscle loosened up but it just hurt. My husband the kinesiologist looked up some info and recommended some stretches. These are all familiar yoga-type stretches, easy to do. I took some ibuprofen. I am sitting on an ice pack.

Maybe I'm too damn old to be pushing myself??? The mind is willing but the body is weak??

I plan to do nothing but rest today, and stretch a bit. I could rest tomorrow too. And then try the running club on Sunday morning. I will have to ask my body what it thinks. I dreamed about the running club all night. I really want to join.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Running club (!!!)

This post's for you, Tricia. Yup. I went.

I never thought I'd make it. My eldest had a volleyball game after school, and I drove him, plus his siblings, plus two friends. We didn't get home until after 5pm. I still had supper to make. By the time I'd whipped up supper it was ten to 6. Running club meets at 5:30. But the coach had told me that they warm up for half an hour, then run. And that they run in the park. I was feeling antsy. I really needed to get out. So I downed a banana, threw on my running gear, and ran for the park. It was so dark. But at least there might be other people running at the park, I figured ... maybe even the running club.

I ran fast (or tried to) and started doing the loop that was lit up. A few runners went by. Nope, nope, nope, not the running club. I'd run about 4 and a half kilometres by myeslf when I spotted a big group gathering at the parking lot along my loop. I almost lost my nerve and ran by, but I thought okay seriously what do I have to lose? So I stopped and introduced myself to the guy who I thought must be the coach. And he was. He said they were just getting going on their speedy stuff and I could join in, or watch, or chat, or whatever I wanted. So I joined in. I'd come to run after all.

Wow. I am soooooo not fast. We did a drill where we ran 400 metres as fast as we could, then walked for 200, then turned around and ran 400, then walked for 200, and repeated the drill all over again. Immediately after that, we ran 1100 metres at a pace that was meant to be comfortable but not slow, ie. pretty darn fast for me. For the first part of the drill I kept up, toward the middle of the pack, but by the time we headed for the "comfortable" 1100m loop, I realized I'd slipped toward the back. And I never caught up again. We did the full drill a second time. And then the group headed into a third round. By that first sprint of the third round, I realized my sprint was looking pretty lame and I was having to run hard during my 200m "rest" in order to catch up to the tail end of the group to start all over again. (Though there were maybe two or three girls who were just behind me.) At this point, the coach called out in a friendly way to tell me that I didn't have to do the whole thing. He also said, "Your attitude's too good! You probably got all 85s in school didn't you?" And I'm like, heh, he's got me pegged. Except it was more like 90s. Once a keener, always a keener.

Not everyone in the group kept going. So I didn't feel like a total slacker for stopping after that last sprint. But a bunch of those runners. Wow. They just didn't slow down at all.

I think I'm hooked. I hope so. Because if I can commit to this and show up and do this, two or three times a week, I think I'll get faster. Or at least I'll find out if I can get faster. Something that made me feel good was hearing that the other woman in the group who ran the Hamilton marathon did it in 3:45. She was bummed because she'd been aiming for 3:35 but went out too fast and crashed. So I actually ran it faster than her. She didn't do the whole drill either. She was recovering. So I guess I could have said I was recovering too. Which I probably am.

By the time I ran home, I'd been gone awhile. Still laundry to hang, supper to eat and clean up from, homework to supervise, kids to put to bed, and now I'm bloggin and those darn dishes STILL aren't done. But I feel pretty good. Way better than I felt for most of the day. It's always better to get out. I think I've found my mental health boost. I need to remember that, and do it no matter what. I'm so hoping I can make this a regular thing and keep getting out in evenings. Commit to a year.

Next running club: Sunday morning. I'm going to have to swing some carpooling for a kid's birthday party in order to get there, but I'd like to try.

And I ran 14.5km tonight. No wonder I was feeling pretty worn out by the end! I'd never push myself that hard all on my own. There's just no way. And I like being pushed. I think the coach thought I was slightly nuts when he asked how it was, and I said FUN!

Monday, November 21, 2011

A new week

On Friday, I ran during my daughter's goalie practice. It was completely dark. Middle of the night dark. There are plenty of paved paths around the sports facility, but only some are lit by streetlights. These all basically run alongside a busy road, so the path was also lit by headlights, more irritating than illuminating. I could really use a head lamp. That may be my next big running purchase, ahead of a coveted GPS watch. But safety is more important than keeping precise track of distances.

It takes some determination to run in the dark, and to follow a fairly boring back and forth path, repeatedly. I made it nearly 12km, though, in 55 minutes. I tried to hustle. The wind was sharp and cold. It will get tougher with snow and ice pellets added in. I was fantasizing about a running balaclava too. Hm. Christmas and birthday coming up, hint hint.

Tougher or more challenging? I don't mind the challenge.

I did nothing on Saturday except recover from too much fun on Friday night.

Yesterday, I ran during my daughter's practice at a different location, my favourite trails. Her practice starts at 4:30 and it was already getting dark by that time. And we still have another month of darkening evenings! Ugh. It's the lack of light that I mind, much more than the temperature. I ran the trails until it was too dark (around 5:15) and then I ran around and around a field until I'd gone about 55 minutes. It's difficult to estimate distance because the trails wind through bush and even with Google's geographic feature they aren't visible. I'm guessing it was similar to the previous evening's distance, though it involved more hills, so I likely went slightly slower.

The good news is that I felt on both runs that my legs were back in pre-marathon form. It took about two weeks to recover, but if that's all, that's pretty sweet. I could run another marathon next weekend folks! Except the season is over. And I'm not crazy.

Swim this morning. I was so tired my brain felt basically asleep, but I'd been having a bad dream that I didn't object to being woken out of (a social-pariah dream; I was in some awkward social situation with people who were younger than me by at least a decade, and I kept doing "mom" things with disastrous results; there you go, a peek into the insecurities of my psyche.) Anywayyyyyy. Once I got into the pool -- the real actual pool -- I felt pretty good, and only felt better as the swim went on. My stroke got smoother, it was easier to get into a rhythm, and I really didn't feel fatigued the entire swim. I was breathing pretty hard when I got out though. A good workout. With a little more time at my disposal, I felt certain I could have gone 3000m, but it would have taken too long. Plus some other dude got into my lane right about then and it didn't look like we were going the same speed at all. And the kids and my husband were at home waiting for me to return so they could take their turn at the pool. We're fortunate that we live so close to a pool. We can squeeze in four swim in two separate sessions before 8am.

I swam 2500m in 52 minutes. I was pleased. I was laying down a very consistent 500m swim throughout, anywhere between 10 to 11 minutes (I don't wear a watch in the pool or time my splits with any kind of precision, I just check the big clock at each 500m point.) My aim is to swim 3000m in 60 minutes, which I could just squeeze in if I'm in the pool exactly at 5:45. And if I could actually swim that far, that fast -- laying down 500m in exactly 10 minute intervals. I like a goal.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Just because I'm not writing ...

... doesn't mean I haven't been doing anything. But I haven't been noting it down. I guess with nothing pressing to train for, it seems less important to remark on my regular work-outs. This week I've gotten up early three mornings out of four (of course, this morning, the one I had for sleeping in until 7, my three-year-old decided to wake up screaming at 6:30, which he never ever does except for mornings when I'm sleeping in. Seriously.)

Anyway ... Monday I swam. It had been awhile since I'd been in the pool, and I only went about 2000m. Probably ever so slightly more. I was having trouble keeping count. I should really swim twice weekly to maintain my fitness and comfort in the pool, but that would have been this morning, and I was sleeping in this morning, remember!

I also went to a fun 90-minute hot yoga class on Monday evening. It was a flow class, lots of downward dogs and leg-work. My thighs stood up to it better than expected. Also lots of arm-work on the floor, which I appreciated.

Tuesday was spin. It was a tough class. I realized that there was no way I felt like going to the running club that evening. No way.

So I got up and ran on Wednesday morning with my friend instead. I probably couldn't keep doing the Wed. run if I added in a Tues/Thurs running club outing. So I'm really feeling torn and conflicted. I guess I could keep the Wed. run no matter what. It's pretty slow and easy, more of an opportunity for a conversation than a work-out. But I'm wondering whether the running club is remotely feasible. I haven't been able to stick consistently to any evening program with set times. My schedule is just too variable with all these kids. And I'm often worn out by evening. Early mornings are the best for a consistent practice.

I can't make it to the running club tonight due to teacher interviews.

Will I attempt to go on Sunday morning after spending both Friday and Saturday evenings in happy socializing, as planned??? I just don't know. It's a $300 commitment for the year, which isn't enormous given what a lot of things cost, but it isn't nothing, and I really need to know that I can commit before committing.

Today is an off day. I could have gotten up early to do something, but ... I didn't. May get up for an early yoga class tomorrow morning. And may try running in the dark tomorrow eve while my daughter's at soccer. Why not. I do love running. And then, maybe maybe maybe (probably not) Sunday running club. Hm.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Talked to the coach

So the running coach called me back. We had a great conversation yesterday afternoon, and I felt really excited. The main problem is going to be making those meeting times regularly. The team meets three times a week, and he said I'd need to come twice a week to make it worth my while. He focusses on middle distances (ie. 5 and 10km), but he has runners who run longer distances too. I figure if I get faster at the 5 or 10km distance it will make me faster at the marathon distance too. I have to get my legs moving faster in order to go faster, no matter my endurance levels.

Mostly, I just felt really excited by the conversation, and by the thought of training with a group. I've never done that. My high school cross country team (of which I was a lame lame member in my last year of high school) had maybe four people on it, and we trained together once or twice and then went to two meets. At which I sucked. Probably because I only trained once or twice. I really don't think that counts.

So I was thinking that this coming year could be all about running. What if I run with a team two or three times a week, with coaching and doing drills? Would I continue to see improvements? It seems likely. When I look at my times and my splits, I've gotten faster over the course of this past year just training all on my own. The team includes a local university's track and cross country team, as well as people like me, ages 14-60. It's not a huge team. I need to just go and try it out. Not this week because the coach is away this week. Maybe next week. They train all year round and actually do a bunch of their training at the park that's just down the street from us, plus at my favourite trails park.

Will I like running with a team? With a group? With coaching? He wasn't terribly impressed by my 10km race time: "There's room for improvement," was his comment. I agree, and I want to be improved! He also doesn't think much of marathoning because it wears a person out so much. I do get what he's saying, because my runs this morning and yesterday evening were both slow and my muscles were achy. It could be a month before I'm fully recovered (if what I've read about recovery is to be believed.) It didn't feel like that extreme of an effort, however, so I hope that recovery time is wrong. The coach pointed out that the recovery time after a 5km or 10km race is much shorter, which I'm sure is true.

Do I have the guts for this? I think so. I'm so excited to get the chance to try. When I was a kid, I dreamed of being a runner and getting coached, and training. But it never happened. I'm not even sure there were coaches who would have trained an eight-year-old kid. By the time I was a teen, and I could have joined track teams and trained harder, I was a lot slower and less energetic, and not very interested anymore. Too many other interests, I guess. Bottom line, I never trained with any kind of regularity or seriousness. And then I kind of forgot about it as an option.

So the idea of never-too-late is pretty exciting. The thirties are prime running years (or can be) for women athletes. And I've gained determination and commitment as I've gotten older. I didn't have that before. I used to be much more afraid of failing, much more of a perfectionist (believe it or not.) That's probably been the biggest change this past decade has brought to me. Being willing to fail, being willing to say, "I don't know what I'm doing," being willing to ask for help. I can thank motherhood for that, alright.

(I was also thinking that training for the triathlon led me back to running. When you set off toward a goal, you just never know where it's going to take you.)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Took the morning off

Yes. I actually took the morning off. I did not go to spin class. I'd intended to go, and laid out my clothes, and then asked my husband's opinion--I said: most of my Facebook friends think I should take tomorrow off. And he said, I agree. He is a kinesiologist, so I like to consult him on matters related to training. And his argument made sense. I'm stiff and sore because my muscles have suffered many small tears--this isn't a bad thing, but could be if I don't rest and instead go hard too soon and turn small tears into big ones. The "you could injure yourself" argument was the one that got me.

He did suggest I could go swimming instead, since it would work difference muscles, but once I'd decided not to go spinning, I wasn't going to get up to go swimming. I'm also quite tired. Rest is important to recovery too.

Last night before bed I took a bath with Epson salts--brought to me by a friend!! What a sweet gift. I slept well. And I'm feeling ready to get back to running really soon. Maybe even this afternoon. I sometimes do a short speed run while the kids are at swim lessons. Today, I plan to do a short easy run, just to get my legs moving. Also planned this week: yoga, and another easy run tomorrow morning with my friend, and hopefully a longish run on the weekend. I've read that a good way to keep yourself marathon-ready (or training-for-a-marathon-ready) is to do a 16km run on the weekend in place of your long run. That's a pretty easy distance for me, and I'd love to keep the habit of the longish weekend run in place, even as I slow down and think about next season.

This seems to be the time of year for slowing down, taking stock, and getting excited about next year.

To that end, I've already signed up for another race!!! Couldn't help myself. I loved Hamilton, and I've heard about another Hamilton race from other runners--it's called Around the Bay (or something like that), and it's the longest-running race in Canada, perhaps in North America. The tagline for the race is "Older Than Boston." It's an odd distance, at 30km, but a good distance. It's run on March 25, so it will be a good start to next season.

And yesterday I contacted (by wimpy email) the coach of a local running club. I haven't heard back. If that doesn't work out, there are interval training runs led by local running stores--free, as far as I can tell. There's a free Tuesday evening trail-running club that will start up in the spring that sounds fun. Mostly, the problem with joining any club is going to be getting to the practices. Right now, running works especially well for me because I can run whenever there's an opportunity, unlike swimming or yoga or spin class. I can squeeze it in during soccer practices or swim lessons. With the kids (and my husband) so active and busy after school, it's difficult to add in any set and scheduled activities for me. In fact, writing that out makes me realize that I no longer have ANY set, scheduled activities after school or in the evenings. My set, scheduled activities are all early-morning, before anyone else in the house is awake. And then I squeeze in a yoga class here, and runs here and there when the schedule has a break in it.

This week, for example, I'm hoping to squeeze in yoga on Thursday over the supper hour. Next week that won't work because it's parent/teacher interviews and a family birthday party. So I really can't pin down regular times at that time of day.

But oh how I love to run when I get the chance. I think it would be really good to get one session a week with a coach or a team, though. I could aim for that. One session a week where someone else is pushing me, not just me pushing me.

Real marathoners train up to 100-150km a week. Some even more. If I did that, how fast could I go? (Wait, says reality, you really really don't have time for that ...)

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Marathon, check

I did it. I did it faster than I ever imagined I could, even when I was fantasizing about how fast it might be. I ran 42.2km in 3 hours, 42 minutes, 13 seconds, which means I averaged 5:17/km. That put me 55th among all women, and 19th in my age category (neither of which sounds very exciting, but there were a lot of fast and well-trained people there, that's for sure.) And it got me dreaming about knocking a few more minutes off and completing in 3:30. A girl can dream. Or, more precisely, a middle-aged mother of four can dream.

So, what was it like? What do I want to remember? I want to remember the people who come out to cheer. I love those people. I was so happy all race, never so lost in my own effort that I wasn't waving and smiling back, and saying thank you. Those cheers all count. There was a great sign with about 1.5km to go. It said: The pain is temporary. And then a little further on: The pride is forever. It sounds so cheesy, but I know I picked up my pace.

I decided to run without much baggage. Didn't carry water, did bring along some energy chews, just in case, and chewed on a couple. I made good use of the water stations, though for about half the race didn't bother to slow down, just threw the water back. I started with the 3:50 pace bunny. I was nervous. I really really really wanted to finish in under four hours. I didn't care if it was 3:59:59, but I really wanted to say, yes, I did a marathon in under four hours. I don't know why. Vanity, I guess. But that was the goal that wouldn't leave me alone. So for the first 10km, I ran near the 3:50 pace bunny. Not that fast, really, about 5:40/km or so, but then I started getting a little restless. Around 10km, that pace bunny and his crowd kind of got lost behind me. I started following a man and a woman who were using some fancy pacing device, and I thought, okay, they're pacing themselves a bit faster than 3:50, but not too much faster, and I seem pretty comfortable at their pace ... but by the next water station, they were lost behind me too.

I was just naturally speeding up. By 15km, my pace was coming in very comfortably at 5:20/km, and I was passing people quite steadily. I felt great. My breathing was easy, my legs were light. And that was when I became brave. I wasn't brave up until 15km. I was still running with anxiety and doubt--could I do it? Would I hit a wall? Would I fail? Had I undertrained? And it took me until 15km to believe in myself. Once that happened the whole race changed. It was wonderful from there on in. (I'm not saying it was bad before, and physically I'd certainly felt fine, but I was definitely distracted and nervous up until 15km.)

At 21 km, it was a pleasure to notice that I'd run it faster than my half-marathon last spring, by three minutes (which also means I ran the second half of this race faster than the first, which seems to be my style.) And I enjoyed greeting various milestones along the way. I was also faster at 25km than I'd been in the Toad last month, though of course the Toad was on crazy trails, and this was a road race and relatively flat (flatter than the half-marathon, too.)

At least, it was flatter until we hit THE BEST part of the race, when our route went onto a highway and we got to run where the cars usually drive. Plus, it was all downhill. I let myself go. I'd already been hitting 5 minutes flat on a couple of kilometres, and I stopped paying attention to time for the entire downhill, just let myself go at the pace that came naturally. I know it was pretty fast, because it was downhill and because I was passing people.

But at 29km, we got off the highway, and went up an off-ramp, and boy did I feel that uphill. I suddenly felt tired. Is this my wall, I wondered. I'd just passed a bunch of people and I wasn't too keen so see them zooming past me, but I stopped and walked for the water break. I tossed back a cup of water, followed by a cup of electrolyte stuff, followed by another cup of water. Too much? I wondered. Not at all. I was instantly renewed. Bam, I was off. At 30km, I knew it was only 12km left. Totally doable. An ambulance roared by. That can't be good, a man said. He'd passed me on the highway, and now I was passing him on legs that almost felt fresh. It was weird. And I was worried about whoever was suffering ahead of us. When I got there, it looked like the person was conscious, and was obviously being well-cared-for. Thankfully.

With 10km left, I realized that I wouldn't be able to get under 3:40, which had become my new race goal as I'd zoomed down the highway. I would have to run as fast as my fastest 10km race to get there. Okay, I thought, let's do that, then. The water stations were spaced about 3km apart, so I just focussed on getting to each of them, stopping for a big drink, and firing back up again. At every marker, I told myself, run the fastest 8km of your life. Run the fastest 7km of your life. I felt that I had nothing to lose. I wasn't actually managing to run the fastest 8km of my life, but I kept a strong pace until the very end, averaging just over 5/km. For the last 2km, I told myself to run two 4:30s, which is probably my current limit for speed runs ... and usually those aren't run after 40km. But heck, why not go for it? I also realized that though I was running as fast as I could, I didn't really care at that point what my time was--I just knew it would be better than imagined, and that I'd done my best. I couldn't make my legs go quite as fast as 4:30, but was happy to catch a few more women (and men) as the finish line approached. At 500m I felt something POP on my foot and it did hurt. I hoped I hadn't injured myself in some way, but there was nothing going to stop me at that point. As soon as I saw the finish line, I sprinted as fast as I could. (Turned out the pop was just a blister.)

I felt slightly dizzy when I stopped running, but a volunteer walked with me a little way and I quickly recovered. My husband and kids had seen me round the corner to the finish line and had cheered crazy loud, but I hadn't heard them. I was so focussed on running as fast and as hard as I could. How awesome to find them afterward. How I wish my youngest hadn't been whining for pizza for the next 20 minutes. I got my food, got a Pepsi, and we didn't linger at the race site long.

My legs were pretty stiff when we got out of the car after the ride home, and I suspect will be sore for a few days, but lots of things were good, physically, about the race as a whole. I didn't cramp up. I felt adequately fed and watered. I didn't lack for energy. My muscles were tired by the end, but not weary. I never hit any kind of a wall (and I sure passed a lot of people who clearly had--how could you stop with only a couple of kilometres to go??? you'd have to be feeling pretty awful.) My breathing was always controlled, though I did let myself push to my edge for longer than I would have planned before the race began. My body didn't seem to mind operating at its edge.

Best of all, I felt so damn happy. The whole race. When we hit the highway, I got emotional. The view was amazing. I felt so good, so much stronger than I'd expected to feel.

And as I ran to the finish line, I was pretty close to sobbing (maybe it was all inside, because I was awfully focussed on going as fast as possible.) This was not a race I really felt like running, truth be told. I was genuinely concerned that I hadn't trained enough, not enough really long runs (maybe they're not so necessary--a woman on the bus to the start line told me about a friend who trained for years using the really-long-run method, but only qualified for Boston after dropping that method, and instead never training over 25km at a time. I like the sounds of that.)

Most of all, though, this past week I've been feeling the weight of my grandpa's loss. That sounds too dramatic. But I noticed it in all of my siblings when we got together on Wednesday after the funeral. We were all kind of drained. Emotionally as much as anything, but the emotional affects the physical, too. A grey feeling. Fully functional, just ... well, grey of spirit. I felt drained and tired going into the race today. It wasn't the best state in which to start a race at a distance untried. No wonder I started with such a lack of confidence. But the race gave something back to me. And that was what I was feeling as I ran toward the finish line. I was feeling joy. What a gift. To feel renewed confidence. To feel a sense of celebration. To be a part of something like a race, like a marathon. All of those people, doing their best. I wanted to stay at the finish line and cheer for everyone. I would have if the youngest hadn't been whining so loudly. Really, races are not much fun for young spectators (and I was so glad to have my family there.)

Even standing at a little distance, drinking a cup of soup, I realized that I was experiencing joy as those other runners came in--vicarious joy for what they'd accomplished, pride in their accomplishment, as if we'd done it together.

Well, I guess we did.

Thanks, Hamilton. I won't forget this. It does kind of cap an amazing year pretty perfectly. Apparently my time used to be fast enough to qualify me for Boston, but no longer. That's okay. I'm only 2 minutes, 13 seconds over the qualifying time, and it's a nice thing to aim for ... maybe ... well, why not. Why not do this again? I was thinking that it might seem like I'm training for races, but what I'm really doing is training for these amazing life experiences, these sweet sweet moments in time that can be gruelling, but are also rewarding. At the beginning of the season, I had to fight myself a lot more: I had to fight that weariness, that desire to quit, that feeling of wanting to give up and give in, to stop the suffering. And those thoughts scarcely flicker anymore. The further I run, the less discouraged I'm tempted to become. The more positive-minded, the more excited, the more I feel in touch with potential. And I used to get very competitive and almost angry when running races--angry isn't quite it, but close. I could hardly stand for any obstacles to get in my way, I was so irritable. Today, I felt none of that. I still felt competitive, but I also just felt more relaxed. Whatever happened, happened. It was just another thing that I needed to get past.

If only I could apply this in real life.

Well. That's about it. And it's more than enough, isn't it.

Thanks to all who have trained with me, and encouraged me, and believed in me, and kept me going. What a season. Wonder what next season's going to look like?

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Race prep: the day before

Tomorrow's the big day. Are my legs ready to run 42km? More importantly, is my head? I sure hope so. Here's what I've done this week to prepare ...

I made it to a 90-minute hot yoga class on Thursday evening. I almost didn't go. I just could not make up my mind. But of course was so appreciative during and after. It was not an easy class. The teacher had us hold poses for long stretches, and my thigh muscles felt sore (spin class, could that be you?), but on the whole, it was a positive experience. My goal, going forward, is to get to two classes a week, again. That's the ideal. Reality is that there aren't a lot of time slots in my week to allow that to happen. But I'd like to try. I need the stretching. I like the heat and the time spent inside my own head.

Yesterday, Friday, I ran an easy 5.2km during my daughter's soccer practice. I was going to run just 3km, but couldn't help myself. I ran in it about 27 minutes, which works out to pretty close to race pace (marathon race, not 10km race), and it felt very light and easy. It wasn't meant to be a workout, and it didn't feel that way. It was meant to be a reassuring run, to remind myself that I've done the work, and that I know how to run. And that it feels really good to run, too. It was an excellent run for all of those reasons.

Today, I am taking off entirely. There seems no need to do another reminder run. I'll just get up early tomorrow morning and do the real thing.

And then ...

What comes next? How can I maintain momentum going forward? I like Tricia's suggestion of focusing on a particular kind of race for a season. I think I'd choose trail running. That might motivate me to get in touch with the running club that trains at my favourite trails. They no doubt do winter training, too. Would I like, also, to aim for the half-Ironman that goes next September? That does seem like a goal I'd enjoy pursuing. But I'd also like to rest for a little bit. Rest without getting out of shape. Maybe take a month where I choose more yoga than speed training, if you know what I mean. A get-flexible, strength-and-core-building month. I know if I want to do the half-Ironman, I'm going to need more swimming, more regularly. And that might mean switching up my swimming training, too, and adding in interval work and skill work, like I did the past summer in the triathlon training class. In fact, doing a class like that again would be really helpful. If I can find the time.

A thought on getting up early. I only got up early twice this week, and I find that it's actually harder to get out of bed at 7am than at 5:15am. That seems counter-intuitive, but the difference is the morning routine: it's much harder to get up for and get through when I'm just climbing out of bed at 7am along with everyone else. When I'm greeting my family after a lovely work-out, I'm just a much happier person. The morning runs more smoothly. I get more done in that hour between getting everyone out of bed and getting them out the door. So it is worth it to wake early, even though it means going to bed earlier too. Sigh. That's the part I'm having a hard time with, or at least had a hard time with this past week. I wanted to stay up and hang out with my husband, or go out with my siblings to debrief after my grandpa's funeral on the weekend. And so I did. And so I did not feel like setting my alarm for an early rise.

How to balance? Dunno. But this coming week, I'm going to take it easy. And then I'll reassess and set some new goals, and check my schedule, and figure out where to fit more in ... if more is what I choose. Or even where to fit just a minimum in. I'd love to yoga twice a week and swim twice a week. That's four workouts right there. I'm already spinning once a week. That's five. And I love to run. I'd love to run at least three and probably four times a week. More if I'm doing endurance training. So that's at least eight or nine workouts a week, and I only count seven days in the week. And everyone needs a day off.

Ideas? What are you doing? How are you scheduling your workouts and your life?

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Achy legs

I shouldn't feel this achy after an 8.5km run, should I? Maybe it was spin class yesterday. I'm realizing that it's tough to set a race goal this late in the season. It's tough to keep the necessary intensity going for so long. I ran that half way back in April, which seems like a long time ago now: seven months. And I was training hard starting last January. I'm feeling less motivated recently.

I'm not sure how to plan my training up until Sunday's race. I ran this morning. Should I run once or twice more before the race? Should I go swimming instead? Do yoga instead? Do swimming, yoga, and run once or twice more before the race? I could work any or all of these into the next few days, but my question is: should I?

I wish I were feeling more energetic. I wish I felt a sense of excitement rather than of faint dread (though that is a common feeling before my races.)

Total side note: I've been swimming and yoga-ing less this fall, and I'm seeing a change in my upper body. My arms just aren't as toned as they were. It was so exciting to see my body improve, as someone who had never exercised regularly in her life, and it kind of sucks to see it going in the opposite direction. But more running equals less time for cross-training, and running doesn't do much for the biceps and triceps. I'm trying to figure out how to structure my exercise plan once this marathon is over. What are my larger goals? Is it running faster and further? Is it being toned and fit-looking, regardless of how fast or far I can run? Is it strength? Is it endurance? Is it more races? I'm feeling unsure right now, and not pulled toward any one thing, though I will say that vanity is a motivating factor ... I really liked my strong, defined arms. I may have to get back into the pool more often. And hot yoga is really good for toning, too, even if it doesn't make me run faster.

What are your exercise goals, out of curiosity? Why exercise? I read this piece in the newspaper on Monday where the woman said that she exercises because she has a fear of getting fat. That was her only motivation. I'm not sure that would do it for me.

Monday, October 31, 2011

On the treadmill

I'm still trying to figure out if this could have been correct. Yesterday, we were at a hotel in Ohio, so I went for my run (which was meant to be a short run of about 6km) on a treadmill. I decided to run for half an hour, but was too into it to stop, so I kept on going. I'd been looking only at the time, not the distance, and I'd been doing a lot of sprints and intervals, playing around with how fast I could chug away on the little track, and for how long, basically pushing myself like I tend to do. At about 38 minutes, I checked my distance. I was really close to 6 miles, so I did a little more sprinting and got there, then cooled down for a minute or so, and clocked off the treadmill at just under 40 minutes, having run 6.2 miles.

Then I checked how far that was in kilometres. That's almost exactly 10km (9.977 to be precise.) Is that even possible?? Maybe it's easier to run on a treadmill than outside, because I've never clocked in at a pace like that outside: my race last spring got me across the finish line in just under 48 minutes. At first, I wondered whether maybe the treadmill was giving me the distance in kilometres, but that makes no sense either: I do know my own pace, and I was running much faster than that. Plus, we were in the States where no one measures in kilometres, ever. I spent all weekend translating distances for my cousins, who were interested in my training plans and the marathon and the triathlon, etc.

Anyway, after that run yesterday, I'm kinda interested in getting a used treadmill and sticking it my basement. I could do my speed/interval runs on it all winter, when it isn't safe to go sprinting around outside in the ice and snow. Outside in the winter is still great for long runs, or slower runs, and I love running outside all year long. But I could see the advantage of training on a treadmill. It reminded me of being on a spin bike. Not the same as a bicycle, but you're able to push yourself harder and in a more controlled way than when out on the road.

Wish I'd known how close I was to running a full 10km. I would have sprinted all the way to that finish line and clocked the time as my fastest ever. It felt like I was running fast. But it was hard to tell. Anyone have experience on treadmills? Are they just plain easier? Can you go faster?

:::

Training plan for the week (the week before the marathon!) ... I skipped the early swim this morning. I was way too tired. I could sleep all day if that were possible, actually. It was a draining weekend. I'm planning to spin tomorrow. Run Wednesday. And possibly swim Thursday. Yoga Friday. Short run on Friday evening or Saturday morning. Like, really short. The book recommends 3km. And then I'm going to run a really long way on Sunday morning.

I hope I'll make it.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Trail season is over

I ran at my daughter's soccer practice last night. I ran on my favourite trails, and I ran fast, because it was getting dark. But it didn't matter how fast I ran, it still got too dark, too quickly, and the trails were hazardous. I ran on the trails until I really couldn't see, and the sun was good and down, and then I had to run around the sports facility's roadway, which is a little over a kilometre loop, but even that got dark (it stayed lighter longer than the trails beneath the trees.)  And soon I was running in pitch black darkness illuminated by the occasional orangeish streetlight. I couldn't run very quickly because it would have been dangerous, too easy to set a foot down wrong. I had to force myself to go around the loop three times, and probably ended up running no more than 12km, though I'd planned to run 16. It took all of my mental strength just to make it around three loops in the cold and the dark. It was just so dark.

It really felt like the end of something. The end of the season.

So I think that will be my last run at my favourite trails for the season. It's only going to get darker the next little while, and I know people stop running trails in the winter anyway. Too slippery.

The question is: where will I run, now? And when? Will I change my training and start swimming more and running less? Any suggestions?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Day of doubt

Am I doubting whether I can complete this marathon? I am, a bit, just a bit, a wee bit. I'm also doubting my training plan as it comes down to the end here. I'm feeling SO TIRED this week. It's been a stressful week. Things have happened that no one can plan for, or around. On Monday, we had some issues on our home construction project that thankfully have since been solved. The sadder and bigger occurrence is that my grandpa (my mom's dad) passed away on Tuesday. He lived in Ohio, so our family will be travelling across the border for the funeral this weekend. That means two long drives in a short amount of time, and an emotionally gruelling weekend, which I find can be as draining as anything that's physically challenging.

Not that it matters, given the context, but I also won't be able to do my planned 16km run on Saturday. What I'm thinking of doing now is skipping tonight's planned run (SO TIRED!) and running instead tomorrow evening for 16km. I'm pretty sure that I can squeeze it in during my daughter's soccer practice, if I map out a route in advance. There is a treadmill at the hotel in Ohio, and I could get up early Sunday morning to run for half an hour or so. And then I'll check in with my body and mind when we're home on Monday, and decide how the week ahead should look, training-wise. Monday (Halloween) is also the fourth anniversary of my father-in-law's passing, and my maternal grandma died almost exactly a year ago, too. It's a dark time, and I need to take care and remember that even though it may seem that these emotional anniversaries are not outwardly affecting, they may actually be, quietly, taking and requiring some energy.

Any advice? Would you aim to do less and conserve strength, or do I risk slipping back and losing some of the endurance I've gained during training?

I still believe that I can do the marathon. At this point, though, I'm thinking less and less about ideal times, and more and more about simple completion, being brave, going ahead with the plan, and doing my best, whatever that turns out to be. Which is probably, let's face it, a  healthy approach.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Day of fatigue

So ... I did run last night, in addition to the morning swim. I ran 7.4km because 6 just seemed so short (I should be thankful for my slow runs with my friend once a week because apparently, left to its own devices, my brain will not allow me to run short and slow; I always push as hard as I'm able, which means none of my long runs come in anywhere near the time suggested in the Running Room guide ... I run them at race pace. I'm not sure that's wise, or what the thinking/science behind the long slow run, but perhaps I should find that out and if it's important, force myself to run slower. And I can't run short and slow either.) Anyway, for my easy run last night, I ran hard, clocking in at just over 5 minutes/km (which is still pretty fast for me. I don't seem to be getting faster, not yet, who knows, maybe that's my edge.)

And then I got up this morning for spin class. My legs felt fatigued throughout class. But I tried! I showed up and tried, and that counts for something.

I'm glad to have no exercise scheduled until tomorrow morning. Phew. Now I just have to get through the rest of my day and the many things that are scheduled that have nothing to do with running faster, but many of which require a lot of mental energy and work, too. I can't leave it all on the floor in spin class because I have to take some home with me. My day is just beginning.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Day of figuring out my schedule for the next two weeks

So I've got less than two weeks to go. I need to figure out what running needs to be done, to leave me in peak race condition. Ha. Okay, in decent race condition. I'm not sure how to figure the swimming and spinning into the equation, but since neither are weight-bearing, I think I'll leave them out of consideration. It's the pounding that counts.

So ... looking at the Running Room marathon guide, for the "complete in 4 hours" training program, this week I should run 6 kilometres, then 10, then 10, then take a day off, then run 16 at race pace on the weekend, followed by another 6 the next day. (That seems like a heavier schedule than I'd anticipated, for tapering, but anyway...)

Next week, I should take a day off, then run 6 at race pace, followed by 10 at race pace, then two days off, then an easy 3 on the day before the marathon.

Hm. This isn't going to add up precisely because I did my long run on Saturday, not Sunday. I'm going to run a slow 8.5km on Wednesday morning. I have been running 12 on Thursday evenings, and 10 on Fridays, followed by a long run on the weekend, with the possibility of a slightly shorter run on Sunday evening.

Agh. Thinking out loud. Sorry. I could probably squeeze in a 6km run this evening, while one daughter is at dance class. Then I'll take tomorrow off (for running; there's spin in the morning.) Wed will be a slow run, which doesn't fit with the plan. Maybe I'll do 12 like usual on Thursday evening (a couple of extra km to make up for those lost on Wed), skip my Friday run (sigh! it would be at my favourite trails), and run 16 on Saturday, since I'm supposed to have a day off in between.

Okay, that could work. It doesn't have to add up perfectly, but I do want to do a bit less without falling off the training wagon too early. And I'm not an expert to say the least.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Day of long run

Wow. Tired. That was not an easy long run. I figured out that in just under 48 hours, I've run about 48km, or longer than that marathon is going to be. And today it felt like I was running the second half of the marathon, not merely out for a 25.7km jaunt. Actually, that was about 3km longer than I meant to run, or thought I'd run. Sheesh. I felt it in my bones.

I covered the distance in 2 hours and 20 minutes, but I'm too wiped to figure out what that means per km. Wait, I think it's about 5:30/km, come to think of it, because that's on par with my Toad run.

I've been wondering whether I should rejig my time plan for the marathon. I think 4:10 is a more realistic number to aim for, and won't leave me disappointed at the finish line. I may not have I've trained sufficiently to expect a better time than that, simply because I haven't done enough really long runs over the past several months. That's due to not realizing I was training for a marathon until about a month ago, and there's only so much time you can make up in marathon training. Luckily, I had been training for the Toad, so it's not like I was starting from scratch. But still. I know I haven't put the miles on like the serious runners have. Besides, for a first outing, I think it's always best not to run for time, but for completion and for the experience. That's made all of my other races this season very happy indeed. And as long as I complete the race, I'll get to check the experience off my life list. I always hoped I'd run a marathon. And now I'll understand what that means.

Not sure it's wise to run tomorrow at my favourite trails, as planned. I'm going to play this by ear. I don't want to overdo it. It's time to start tapering down a wee bit this week, and even more next week. I'm going to follow the Running Room's marathon guide for the 4hr completion.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Day before yoga

I'm nervous about yoga tomorrow morning, given my body's unhappy reaction last Friday morning (and no warning, I wasn't feeling off before I went or anything). Anyway ... just noting that I enjoyed a nice 12km run this evening, over the supper hour. I ran, then came home and ate. I missed supper with the family, but spent time with each of them at bedtime (which takes forever at our house ... and I really appreciated that time tonight, which was nice for a change.) I didn't run super-fast, but still came in just over 60min for the run, with a few long stops for lights and traffic. It was a busy time of day to be running across campus. Felt good the whole way, easy breathing.

But I'm stiff in my shoulders. And that makes me nervous about tomorrow. Hope it goes well, and hope I get nicely stretched out. Also planning a run tomorrow eve, and Saturday afternoon. Planning to put a lot of miles on these legs this week ...

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Back to the spin

Yup, I really like spinning. It's a good sweat. And you work as hard as you want to. Though I did wonder whether I was working perhaps a tad too hard when I gained the sensation of being cheered by a buzzing crowd while nearing a finish line during the very last hard interval (a minute in length.) Was I imagining a crowd or was this the buzzing of my brain right before I passed out? I wondered. (Vivid imagination, I think.) I like to spin with my eyes closed. And I now have this past summer's races and early morning rides to fill my mind as I work my legs. That's a big difference from before. I had never ridden a road bike when I last took the spin class.

One thing that annoyed me (about myself, that is) is that when the instructor came up and asked about how my "season" had gone, I completely minimized it and said, oh I'd only done one triathlon ... which is true, but I could have said how awesome it was to do a triathlon for the first time, or how much I've enjoyed running, or something mildly less self-effacing. That's my instinct. And I wish I could change it without feeling like I'm bragging.

Anyway .... I ran for 23 minutes yesterday, less than planned, but let's just say there was a bathroom emergency (or whatever the level is right below emergency) so I cut it short. Note to self: do not eat a giant meal in a short amount of time immediately before going for a run. Just don't do it. You can eat afterward.

And I think I've decided not to run during the kids' swim lessons today. I'm going to let my body rest briefly from the spin class, and besides I'm running early tomorrow morning. In my running plan this week, also: a run on Thursday evening, another on Friday evening, and a Saturday afternoon long run (the only time I can squeeze it in). I'd like to finish off the week running at my favourite trails during my daughter's soccer practice on Sunday. And then I'll start tapering ... a bit.

I need to think about what I'll do when the marathon is over. How I'll choose to focus my energies. Whether all of this exercise is becoming disruptive or replacing other things in my life. What my future goals are. Where all of this fits in ...

Monday, October 17, 2011

Day of on with it

Have to replace that last post, which was so down and out. Because Friday turned out pretty awesome, with a great evening run. It was blustery cold and wet, but I ran joyfully for 50 minutes, not pushing it, and not trying to best myself or anyone else, just running. I found some strange trails and figured out places where I could run during my daughter's soccer practice when it gets dark (which is almost now) and snowy (soon to come, and I plan to run outdoors no matter the weather).

No official exercise on Saturday, but I moved a bunch of furniture and cleaned the house, and had eight kids overnight. So that felt like plenty.

Yesterday afternoon, I got to run on my favourite trails, which were covered in leaves and wet, but still a ton of fun. I love getting to use my daughter's soccer time for my own runs. It seems to make sense in terms of the time it would be taking to drive back and forth and saves us that extra trip. I ran for 70 minutes yesterday, and ran faster than on Friday. It was pure fun, pure fun.

Today, I was back in the pool after a small hiatus last week, and made it 2500m. I wasn't feeling too peppy by the end, but had enough gas to make it that far. A pleasure and a good way to start the new week. I'm looking forward to spin class tomorrow morning. Yikes! Back on the bike ...

And I realized yesterday that I have an extra week to train for the marathon (I'm terrible at math, have I mentioned that?) Which makes me very happy. A little less than three weeks to go, now, and I feel comfortable adding some more miles this week with that extra time in mind.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Day of discouragement

That sounds too dire. But I am discouraged. I felt great after the long run, good enough to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with my husband's family and then drive four hours home, arriving and getting everything unpacked by midnight. I spent the next day on my feet in the kitchen, still feeling fine, if a bit tired. But by Tuesday I wasn't feeling fabulous. I could not get up to swim, as planned, but slept instead. I ran twice on Tuesday, just two short runs, squeezing them both in at odd moments: while the kids were at swim lessons, and on my favourite trails after dropping my soccer girl off at a practice. Short, fast runs, no more than 4km each, about 8km total. I also biked around town on errands, and pulled the stoller, too.

Then I woke up early on Wednesday to run with my friend. That's 8.5km, but we go slow. I felt weary. I'd planned to go to yoga over the supper hour, but when supper was finally on the table all I wanted to do was join my family to eat it and to talk. This yoga over the supper hour no longer seems to work. And I finally realized why. Because supper is my favourite time of the whole day! I work hard to prepare a thoughtful healthy and delicious meal, and then my family sits down and (mostly) enjoys it together, and we talk, and we have time to sit and relax and just be together. So no wonder I don't feel like missing out on that time of connection.

Having realized that, I will no longer feel guilty about not doing yoga over the supper hour (and I was feeling guilty, and lazy). No more! I went to yoga class this morning instead, early. That's doable, especially if I'm swimming on Thursday mornings instead. Which I did not do again this week. Because I was too tired and also extremely achy. Muscle aches like I haven't had for a very long time. I just felt sloth-like yesterday. I did no exercise whatsoever. I did make an insanely tasty fall meal, and ran errands all afternoon. But that didn't feel like accomplishment ... and by bedtime I was again just so tired.

But I got up and went to yoga this morning. My shoulders must have been crazy tight. As soon as we started doing poses where our arms were over our heads, I got extremely woozy, black spots in front of my eyes, deeply uncomfortable feeling in my body, and nauseous too. I actually had to lie down periodically between poses, and then finally gave up and laid down for the rest of the standing portion of the series. That's never happened before. Weirdly, another woman in the class had the same experience, and she's a regular too (actually, she's a teacher there). That made me feel slightly less wimpy, but only slightly. I was able to do the poses for the floor series, though some nausea persisted. Finally, at the very end, I did a modified rabbit pose on my own. That's meant to loosen the shoulders and muscles along the spine. I was pouring with sweat, and feeling pain all along my spine (good pain, if you know what I mean).

Throughout, I kept wondering what was going wrong. Was I have a heart attack (women experience nausea during heart attacks, right?). Was this a sign of terminal illness (yes, I'm a hypochondriac.) After the final rabbit pose, and loosening those muscles somewhat, I remembered that in the photos Kevin had taken of me on the long run, my neck was pretty tight in some of them. Maybe I did that run with a lot of shoulder/neck tension--running with my shoulders, you might say. And then the car ride home, and then some admin work that had me at the desk on Tues and Wed for many hours in a row. And voila: muscles in agony.

I am planning a short run this evening, and praying that I feel good during it. I need to get one more long run in on Sunday in preparation for the marathon. Or .... maybe I don't. Some people start tapering three weeks before their race. This would be a two-week taper. And I'm still not sure how much I'll taper. I'd like to get back into the pool, for the lungs. I'm going to play it by ear and try listening to my body more closely. Obviously it's telling me something. Unfortunately, the thing about being a runner is, you have to over-ride your body's messages in order to go faster and longer. You have to say, you can do it, when your body is saying, let's stop now, why don't we.

I'm questioning whether I've over-reached by aiming for this marathon. I'm thinking that I will scale back my time expectations, and simply aim for completion. After all, then I'll be able to say I've done a marathon, and that is something I've never done before. It would be a worthy accomplishment regardless of time.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Big long run

Yesterday, I got up and ran. We were at my husband's mom's farm, and my sister-in-law helped find a nice out and back route to take me 32km. Except it ended up being 34km. I did it! My husband came along with me, since it was out on isolated (but stunningly beautiful) roads. Lakes and trees and rivers and rolling hills. Those hills got less charming during the last couple of kilometres. I was also disturbed by my time, thinking I was only running 32, and feeling it had been a slower than expected pace. But it turns out my pace was good. I averaged 5:45/km, and ran the distance in 3 hours, 15 minutes. That's the longest I've ever done sustained exercise. Even the triathlon was only 2 hours, 53 minutes.

Everyone who's run a marathon tells me how brutal the last 10km are. I now have a sense of that. I kept asking myself: can I make it another 10 kilometres? And toward the end, self started answering, yes, but I don't want to! It was starting to get painful. I mean that literally. My pelvis hurt. My feet hurt. My toes still hurt (I don't think running is good for the toes). I'm a bit achy this morning, but not bad.

And I had the energy to drive us home late last night.

With that time, and assuming I could hold the pace for another 8km, I could just sneak in under four hours, which is my long-standing goal. I hope I won't be disappointed with myself if I'm slower than that ... but I'm pleased with my effort yesterday. Glad I got out, and glad I got to run in such beautiful weather through such amazing scenery.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Run run run run run

Wow! I ran 13.1 km tonight in 63 minutes (and that includes about two minutes or so when I stopped to talk to someone I knew on the path). I knew I was going fast. That's pretty cool.

I've been running as much as possible this week, trying to get some mileage in before the marathon. I ran 4.1 on Tuesday while the kids were swimming, 8.5 on Wednesday with a friend, and 12.4 yesterday as soon as all the kids were off to school (I was too tired to get up early to run by myself--especially because it was sooooooo dark). And then today's run. I'm planning my 32km run on Sunday so may not run tomorrow. I also woke up early this morning, without an alarm or anything, so I got up and made it to the early yoga class. I needed to stretch and was so glad to fit it in. With my husband working so many evenings this week, plus being at a birth one night, plus soccer stuff, I just couldn't find time.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Day of fantasizing about more running

All I can think about is running: when I can get to do it again, how I can run more trails, maybe join a club and really push myself ... fantasy land, but who knows, it was a childhood dream and maybe it's not too late even now.

I may never be at the very front of the pack, but I do feel there's room for improvement and growth and more speed, and I'd love to keep working at, mostly because it's so much fun to do. The whole time in the pool this morning, I had to remind myself that swimming is worthwhile too, because what I really wanted to be doing was RUNNING! But I read an interesting little tidbit in a running magazine last night that said one surefire way to improve your lung capacity is to cross-train by swimming. Apparently, swimming has a hypoxic effect (lack of oxygen) that strengthens respitory muscles, increases lung capacity and efficiency and basically makes it easier for the oyxgen to get delivered when running. Since I'd been feeling that my breathing is where I reach my threshold first (more so than muscle fatigue), it sounds like swimming is just the thing to keep on doing.

Which I reminded myself in the pool this morning.

Then I went online and looked up some crazy stuff online, like this race which is run locally: http://www.endurrun.com/register.html

Why does that sound fun to me??? Why?? But it does.

Won't get a run in tonight, as hoped, because my husband has to go to a soccer coaching clinic so I'm on my own with the kids.

Oh yes, made it 2500m in the pool this morning. Felt pretty good, though not amazing. Not that achy from run ...

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Day of Toad: Results!!

Update, after checking chiptime results.

My gun time was 2:19:24, but my chip time was actually 2:18:05!!!!, with an average pace of 5:32/km (I'd hoped to attempt 5:40, so that makes me super-happy!). That made me the 32nd woman across the line (though weirdly, my time was faster than two women who crossed the line in front of me, but they counted them first; I guess they go by gun time rather than chip time; let's just say I had the 30th fastest time among the 480 women in the race). Anyway, they have me listed as 141st of all 840 finishers (men and women and all ages included). Again, I'm behind some people with slower chip times--including the guy in blue who beat me to the line; his chip time was actually slower than mine!). In fact, I must not have started as close to the front as I thought, because when I look at these chip times, mine is better than six of the people who crossed the line in front of me. Which would put me as 135th overall instead and 12th in my age group (they've got me as 13th of 117 women in the category 30-39). Okay, need to start closer to the front next time, obviously! And wow! I'm pretty chuffed! And totally looking forward to next year (except I'm tempted to train for the 50km next year ....)

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Day of the Toad

Running a race is kind of like giving birth (though much easier, it must be stressed). It's a very intense experience the details of which quickly fade from memory, so I'd like to get the happy moments of this race recorded right now, while it's still fresh (which is what I always did after my births, too).

Today I did the Run for the Toad, a 25km trail race that is extremely well organized, and well-attended. And you kind of figure that anyone who signs up to run 25km (or 50km, which some racers were completing on the same course today) is pretty serious about running. I wondered how my ad hoc training and fitness would hold up.

I got up at 6:20 and was off before 7, and on site before 8. It was so cold! After getting my race kit and tinkering with my clothing choices, I stayed in the car reading my book until quite close to race time. I realized, too late, that because I'd gotten up and eaten breakfast so early, my stomach was already growling again by the time the race was about to start. But I couldn't eat anything at that point. Too far to make it to the truck for that half of a banana I'd meant to eat, and I wasn't sure my tummy would like food forced upon it with mere minutes to go anyway. I ran into someone I knew, distantly, at the starting line, which was nice and nicely distracting. And as soon as we got running, I warmed up. I'd been shivering uncontrollably.

The first couple of kilometres were slow due to bottlenecking on the trail, but I did start fairly close to the front. Not close enough to avoid the bottlenecking and having to walk, though, for brief portions. There was also one point, several kilometres on, where the trail went down to single file and I got stuck behind some slow runners. I tried not to get frustrated. I was also pretty thirsty, and I had decided not to carry water, but to stop at the stations, so the first four-ish kilometres or so were not my happiest.

But it always takes me awhile to get my stride anyway. The course was hilly, to say the least. If you weren't going up, you were going down again. There were very few flat stretches and those were extremely brief. Luckily, I discovered something about myself on the course: I'm killer fast down those hills. I guess I always have been, but never knew going fast downhill wasn't something most runners do (and I didn't see anyone else going that fast--maybe it's a rookie error and dangerous, I don't know, but I really speed down the hills). I put that gravity to use, let me tell you, because going up hills are not my strength. I'm not one who stops to walk uphill, mind you, but keeping pace remains a challenge. So every downhill, I let my legs roll, and there was a kind of upswing into the next uphill, much like there is when riding a bike. Except on the bike, I'm the opposite: fast up the hills, not quite so fast down.

I passed a lot of people going downhill. The trick was to be sure I was staying in control and focused and not tripping, and also calling out to warn people if I was passing them in tight areas. The first 6-8 kilometres were probably my most challenging. I didn't feel great. I asked myself, what is it? Is it the breathing? Nope, breathing was very controlled and calm. Were my muscles tired? They didn't feel bad. I think I was just getting used to trail running and all those hills. I was forgetting the recovery that happens--many mini-recoveries--throughout a long race. Plus, the first half of the course was tougher than the second, in my opinion (with the exception of the crazy steep climb in the last kilometre of the loop, which I had to walk because my legs couldn't figure out how to run it).

By 8 kilometres, I felt comfortable. I started to enjoy the ride. I figured I'd feel good up until at least 17km, and I was hoping to feel good until 20. Gutting out 5km at the end is to be expected, and doesn't seem like a long distance to me anymore. I did the first loop in 1 hour, 11 minutes. Slightly slower than I'd hoped (I figured I could run the course in 2 hours, 20 minutes, so that was off by a minute). But factoring in the slow first couple of kilometres, I figured I could speed up on the second round. So that's what I tried to do.

I was so grateful for those 12km training runs, because I KNEW I could do it. At one point early in the second loop, I passed this very annoying loud guy who kept shouting obnoxious stuff at the people around him (he was running with a girl, and I think was trying to keep her going, to entertain her). When I passed them (on a downhilll, of course), the girl said, "I have to keep reminding myself that this is fun." "Yeah," said the guy, "especially when you get ..." and here's where I'm not sure that I heard him right, because I think he said "when you get chicked." And then he yelled obnoxiously to the people in front of him, whom I was also passing, to "catch her, don't let her get away" (me, I'm assuming). Is getting chicked getting passed by a girl? Or maybe I totally heard that wrong. In any case, that gave me something to think about as I ran, and also motivation on the big endless hills ahead to get as far away from that loud guy as possible.

People got really friendly toward the end. (Though another guy also called out to other runners to catch me on another downhill, which was kind of weird, and they responded, "No way!" Maybe my running etiquette is bad? Maybe I'm not supposed to pass people going downhill? I was trying to be polite and to call out if needed, and I never felt like I was out-of-control-fast.) Anyway, people were generally really friendly on that second loop. We were quite spread out by that point, so I wasn't passing people as often (and I should add that I was occasionally passed, too), but most I did pass were quick to say, "Good running," or "Good work," or something encouraging. That was awesome. With about four kilometres to go, I was passed by two men who were chatting away--they'd recognized each other from another race, and the one even remembered the other's name. I stayed right behind them to the water station, and we all stopped to grab one last drink, and the one guy said to the other, "Hey, I've never seen you stop before. You're human after all!" And the other guy replied, "Have you seen her [ie. me!] on the downhills! I've gotta try to keep up!"

Well, that sure gave me a boost for those last few kilometres. I did indeed stay ahead of them because the next stretch was downhill. But on that last brutal hill, the man who'd given me that sweet sweet compliment passed me. (The other man was still back there somewhere). He obviously had a good kick for the last stretch, so I set my mind to trying to catch him. Focusing on him helped me catch a couple of people I'd actually thought were too far ahead for me to catch, so even though I never caught up to the man in blue, I sure kept running fast. I crossed the finish line in 2:19:22, or something like that (need to go check my chip time to be exact), which was a minute faster than my mental estimate (those mental estimates are getting more accurate, as I get to know my capabilities better). And sure enough, I did run that second loop faster than the first--a good three minutes faster. See--second half always faster than first. Don't know why.

I caught up with the guy in blue and said, "You caught me!" and he said, "Great race!" or something like that. It was a nice exchange.

The good news is that the length really didn't feel that hard. I'm not saying it felt easy, but it didn't kill me or wipe me out. I was even able to eat lunch pretty much immediately afterward. I didn't feel sick or crampy, and though I was pretty chilled, being all wet from the sweat and the air being so cold, I got warmed up in a bath when I got home. I'll sleep well tonight, that's for sure.

But wow! It was so fun! I loved being able to do it, and I love that I know my body well enough now that I knew during those last few kilometres exactly what I was capable of managing, even though my breath was speeding up. I can run like this for another ten kilometres, easy, I kept telling myself. And I think it's true. That still leaves me with seven extra kilometres to complete the marathon, but on the other hand, there won't be so many killer hills on the marathon course. Those hills definitely required a tweaking of the pacing, with some moments of quick recovery built in at the top of hills.

Aaaaanndddd I think that's a thorough-enough capturing of the experience. Thanks to the strangers who raced with me and gave me such encouragement. You never know how much you're helping when you say something so seemingly small and kind ... but you're helping a lot. (I need to remember that, too!)

Friday, September 30, 2011

Day before

Woke up wishing I'd have one more day between late-night dance fest and trail run. But at least there's today. Today, I am doing nothing. I even napped for nearly an hour, which seems crazy and wasteful, but there it is. I was tired. And I want to feel as fresh and zippy tomorrow morning as it is possible to feel, under the circumstances.

I'm going alone, and hope there will be somewhere secure for me to leave my bag. Will I have to carry my car keys with me on the trail? Probably. I will pick my shirt accordingly. To be perfectly frank, I'm not feeling very energetic or excited today. I'm trying to ignore what I'm going to do tomorrow.

I was really sluggish in the pool yesterday. I got through 2000m and called it quits. I felt tired and didn't want to wear myself out. Nothing like Monday's swim. I've also run twice this week and gone to a hot yoga class. Today, I'm trying to write, and I've got a sick kid home with me (in fact, he's spending the day in the same room with me, because he's lonely and bored), and I'm wearing ear plugs, and after school I have to go pick up our weekly order of local food.

But the babysitting has been arranged for tomorrow, and carpooling for my soccer kid, too. I'll be out the door by 7am. Need to look up directions and pack my bag tonight. Next weekend, I'm planning a 32km long slow run in preparation for the marathon. That will be the longest run I do before the marathon. I've done some research, and that sounds acceptable, even if not ideal. Then again, I haven't actually been training toward a marathon, and there's no way to switch gears this close to the date. I'll just continue to train fairly similarly to how I've been training, and know that I'll have to finish that race on guts alone. That will be my last race of the season, and of this quite astonishing year. I'm proud of the gains I've made in fitness and endurance. It hasn't been easy, and occasionally it's cramped my social life, but for the most part I'm happy with the balance.

Here's the thing about balance: just when you think you've got yourself upright and stable, you have to fight to find your core strength all over again. A balancing act is never ending, requires constant vigilance, and you have to fall sometimes, too.

I'll let you know how this race goes .... Here's hoping to enjoy myself during and feel happy afterward.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Day: awesome swim

Well, that felt great. For some reason, I've really noticed a boost in my endurance in the pool this fall. Maybe it's all the running I've been doing. Who knows. But this morning, I was pleased to be able to keep my pace steady and fast for the first 1500m (fast for me, that is--it's all relative). I like using 1500 metres as a mark because that's how far you have to swim for an Olympic triathlon. I remember that distance used to wear me out, that I was really struggling to complete it feeling comfortable--I mean, that's how I felt just before doing the triathlon. And now that length is pretty comfortable. I'd like to test this out next summer by doing the triathlon again.

Right now, I'd say I'm good up to about 2000m, at which point it becomes more laborious to keep my stroke going well.

But I felt good enough today to push on for 2800m, completed in just under an hour. My goal is 3000m in that hour, but that's still awhile away. Nevertheless, there were moments in the pool today when my stroke and kick felt really smooth and clean ... and I was wishing I wouldn't have to turn around every 20m because my momentum was good.

I took this past Friday off. Stayed up late (late for me, that is--yup, it's really relative) and had three glasses of wine. Went for an early run the next morning while my daughter was at her soccer tryout. There is a lovely trail near the fiel, paved, though, not dirt, and I ran for a little over an hour and managed 13.6km. I wasn't feeling fabulous, in fact, I was feeling a bit hungover (I hardly ever drink anymore!), but I persevered and it was a nice run, overall. That's progress, I think. I did the same run yesterday morning, too, following another late night and not enough sleep and one beer. It felt harder, but I think that was because I threw in three sprints right in the middle of the run, just to see if I could. As I said to Kevin afterward, "Why do I do that to myself? Any normal person would be satisfied with a nice run, but I'm thinking, this is too slow, I'm not working hard enough, I need to do more ...." Anyway ... those sprints killed me. I only made it 11km and was glad to be done.

Still, that put my week's mileage at 38.8km. Much less than the previous couple of weeks, but on track with the training schedule posted by the Run for the Toad people.

A few more shortish runs this week, and then I'll be running 25km in Saturday's race. Yikes. But I think I can. I'm not too worried, more worried about setting the right pace and running a smart race.

:::

P.S. I JUST SIGNED UP TO RUN A MARATHON!!!! On November 6th. (That must have been a really good swim this morning).

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Day: second swim of the week

Thursdays are nice at the pool. The lanes are lengthened by 5 metres (to 25m), the swim club kids are swimming which I always find immensely cheerful--all those kids getting up at 5am!--and today there were way less people than on Monday or Friday. I swam in the same lane with the woman I used to swim with (she did her fourth Ironman this summer) ... and I've gotten way faster. She used to lap me regularly, but today I was gaining on her by increments until about 1000m when I must have slowed slightly and she started to gain on me by increments. But then she left and I had the lane to myself for the rest of the hour. I didn't swim for quite an hour, but did swim 2600m. I added the extra 100m because I don't think I've ever gone longer than 2500, and I'd like to work my way up to 3000. The running work is definitely paying off in the pool in terms of endurance gains. I didn't feel fatigued until that magical number of 2500, and then it seemed like my stroke deteriorated, which is why I didn't push it. Also because the pool was getting busier and a bunch of people were coming into the leisure lane, where I swam today--but not because I felt leisurely or slow, just because it was empty.

So this week I swam 4800m. I've also gone to one 90-minute hot yoga class, which was, frankly, blissful. Those classes feel much less challenging than they used to, but the stretching feels immensely good, and the stillness and quiet are something I look forward to all week. But I haven't done quite the same amount of running this week. I felt pretty tired after that long week on Sunday evening. According to the training schedule I'm following for the Toad, I should do two 12.5km runs this weekend in place of one long run.

What I'd LOVE to do is drive over to my favourite trail spot and run tonight, but it's meet the teacher night. No running going to happen. Will have to get up early tomorrow to fit in a run. I'm feeling pretty tired by the end of the week, though. Also trying to fit in some small moments of socializing. Went out with my siblings last night, and plan to have friends over for a drink tomorrow night. And go out with my husband on Saturday night!

How to fit everything in? Don't know. And I also feel like I need another goal to work toward, to keep me motivated, though signing up for classes helps: I'm sure to go to spin class when it starts next month, because I'm going with friends and I'm paying for it. Beyond that ... not sure. But it definitely is motivating to sign up for a race and work toward it. It might be worth it just for that.

(I'll admit that I got a little bummed recently reading this short piece in the newspaper written by a marathoner--she's giving weekly exercise tips to aspiring marathoners, and she posted Canada's ninth fastest marathon time for a female runner. So last week, her tip was to stick with your pace and not go faster at the beginning. Her pace? She planned to run her very first marathon in under three hours (!!!!!) so her pace was approximately 2:55/km, except she mess up and ran her first kilometre in 2:45. Did you read that correctly? 2:45 and 2:55/km. When I'm running as fast as I possibly can, for those 12km runs, I'm averaging 4:55/km, maybe running a few of those kilometres at 4:40. So she's running her first marathon TWO MINUTES faster PER KILOMETRE. Anyway, the moral of her story was that she should have stuck to her plan because she seized up around the 34km mark, and staggered to a time of 3:10, I think it was. Good grief. I'll never be anywhere near that fast, no matter how hard I work. So that was a bit discouraging to contemplate. And yes, I realize that my goals are impossibly grandiose, and I'm never going to be Canada's xth faster marathoner, but gee, it would have been nice to think I could run a bit faster than I'm running now--okay, a lot faster. If she can do that for a marathon, just imagine what her 5km time would work out to!).

That was a long tangent. I must be sleepy. Very short nap this morning to refresh brain. Must get to work.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Day: should I do a marathon this fall?

I think I could still sign up for a marathon, if that's a form of torture I'd like to inflict upon myself at least once before I die. I've been doing a lot of running in the past month, and as I look at my distances, I'm realizing that this looks more like marathon training than half-marathon training (though I could sign up for one of those, and it would almost seem breezy).

Here are the numbers from the past four weeks of running (and since returning from the cottage, when I ran precisely zero kilometres for an entire week):
week one: 31.7km
week two: 51.4km
week three: 50.9km
week four: 69.3km

I had in mind, very loosely, an eight-week running experiment, where I would try my best to improve my times and my endurance simply by running longer and faster and more often. I'm running five times a week, now. Not sure why I wanted to do this, though I was hoping to be in fighting shape for the Toad run; as I was running last night, however, I thought, gee, I should revisit that marathon notion. I'm probably not a natural marathoner; I'm probably going to be better at the shorter distances, like the 10km, and possibly the half. But I would like to do it once in my lifetime. And this seems to be the year for doing new things. I should slip a 5km race in here just to cover my bases.

Won't run today, because I got up and swam instead. Wasn't feeling particularly perky, having just run 23km a mere eleven hours previously, but still managed to back and forth myself to 2200m. My goal was 2000, and anything on top of that was gravy. The pool was very crowded today, but our lane worked out well, even when it had four swimmers in it. We were all going relatively the same speed. A good start to the week.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Day: looooong run

Two more runs to note. Did not run or do anything on Friday. Too tired to get up to swim, had insomnia and was awake through the night, and decided to sleep instead. I have a tight writing deadline to meet and that and other thoughts were keeping me awake and I couldn't add swimming to my to-do list. So ...

Yesterday was spent mostly at my daughter's soccer cup final. By the time we got home it was after 3pm, and we'd been gone all day, and I had another to-do list up to my neck and I was so stressed out that my husband suggested I go for a run. He knows me well. Off I went, and burned up the 12.2km route in under an hour. Don't know why, but I love the feeling of pushing myself past the point of no return.

That helped.

Today, I needed to do a long run in preparation for this upcoming trail run (now in less than two weeks). I wanted to go at least 20km, but didn't get started until nearly suppertime. But I'm home now, and I'm pleased. I ran for two hours and five minutes, and when I marked out my route, I'd gone 23km. Not bad. That puts me at around 5:30 or so per kilometre, and it felt very doable. I was not pushing myself, except toward the end when my legs started to fatigue. But I stayed in a very easy breathing mode. It's amazing the difference 30-40 seconds per kilometre make in the breathing and the effort. Knocking a couple of minutes off one's time is harder than it seems on first glance.

Okay, now to shower and get back to that massive to-do list, which is still there waiting to be done.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Day: trail running

On last soccer practice yesterday evening, though it was at different park, thankfully near enough to my favourite trail-running park for it to make sense for me to drive over and run. Seems ridiculous to drive to go for a run ... but I just love these trails. They're easy on my joins, and the hills are crazy, and it's such a challenge. Plus, I can see the improvements in my cardio and strength after a summer of running them fairly regularly (not quite once-a-week). I still haven't found a way to figure out distances on these trails, but when I started running them, half an hour of hard running did me in, and I'm up to a full hour, now.

There is a running club (actually, more than one) that meets and runs these trails on Thursday evenings. They might be a university-based club, because their numbers have swelled these last two weeks, but there are several older men among their number, so I haven't quite figured them out. Most look university-aged. They seem to start with a free-ranging warm-up (I can never guess which direction they'll be running for that, and you kind of want to choose the same direction, because they're a huge pack; going the wrong way is like swimming against the tide). And then they run a loop, down and up, and around the field. They seem to run several intervals of this loop, so I'm guessing it's between 1-2 kilometres. Might just be 1 km with a cool-down built into it. So yesterday, I ran around and around, taking different paths and trying to avoid getting in anyone's way. On my last time around, I decided to run their loop, and it happened that just as turned onto that path, one of the faster groups blew by me. So I chased them. I wanted to see if I could come close to going how fast they were going. Downhill, it was pretty easy to keep up, but they were definitely faster than my on the straightaway at the bottom. But I saw a group of slower runners ahead of them make way, and then realized I was running much faster than this group, too (and they were also with the running club). They politely made way for me, too, and then I had to pound up the hill ahead of them, trying to maintain pace. At this point, I'd been running hard for an hour, and I was pretty much at transcendence, so I pushed it up the hill, and continued on after the faster group, who were now a couple hundred metres ahead of me. But I wasn't quite brave enough to follow their exact path out of the woods and around the field, sprinting after them.

I'm not part of the team, after all, just an interloper. So I finished my run by heading for the parking lot on a different path. Afterward, I wished I'd run after them just to test myself out. Why not?

And I had a couple of different thoughts. One: why are there no older women running with that running club? There are quite a few older men (ie. older than me), lots of young men, and a fair-sized group of young women. But not one woman older than university-aged. Weird.
Two: I'd really like to run with a team. I sense that it would push me in ways that I can't push myself. Psychologically, it would be hard, because when I'm on my own, I'm always the fastest (and the slowest; you know what I mean). It might feel like I'm pushing myself hard, but without that extra jolt of fear/encouragement that competition provides, I can't know how much harder I could actually push. I wonder how one joins a team?

More running thoughts and some confusion: how hard is too hard? For example, should I have run two days in a row, both days pushing very hard? I ran a personal best 12km time on Wednesday evening, and then went out the very next evening and ran for approximately the same distance, pushing as hard as I could. (I know I'm running at my preferred level of exertion when I'm breathing too deeply to talk; if I can talk, I'm not running very hard). Is that too much? I've read that runners should take breaks after races--two weeks after a 10km race. ???? But I try to run much like I'm in a race, when I run, most runs. So I don't know. I may be wearing myself out rather than building my strength, who knows. I'm not an expert. Another reason it would be nice to run with a team, and a coach.

Can I just repeat, ad nauseum, how much I love to run? I love digging down into the layers of myself, into the layers of the experience, which seems to get harder and then somehow, weirdly, easier, almost like my body can tolerate more as my mind drifts further and further above the experience. I felt yesterday like I was coming into a deeper understanding of the meaning of transcendence.