Friday, March 30, 2012

After this week's physio

First, to sum up my Friday to Friday work-outs:
Friday: physio/strength exercises; run, 30 mins/6km (pain-free!)
Saturday: NOTHING
Sunday: run, 31 mins/6km (pain-free); strength exercises
Monday: (got up early and went to pool only to discover it was temporarily closed due to chlorine issues; so no swim); hot yoga, 90 mins; strength exercises
Tuesday: spin, 1hr
Wednesday: run, 30 mins/5.3km (twinges of pain, so we kept it short); strength exercises (the extended version)
Thursday: spin/kettlebells; strength exercises (the quick version)
Friday: physio, exercises; run, 6.8km

That catches us up. I wish I knew how fast my pace was on today's run, but my GPS watch is unreliable, and this time it refused to work. And in fiddling around with it, I neglected to keep track even of how long I'd been running. It was a bit over thirty minutes, but not by much. I wanted to run because this morning, finally, my physio started working with me on cadence, which should help with my heel strike. Cadence is really beats per minute, and the ideal cadence for the average runner is 180 strides per minute. If you have a metronome (which we do), set it at 180 and practice running on the spot to get an idea of how quickly your feet should be striking the ground and rising up again. Elite marathoners run at closer to 220 or even higher. I found it a challenge today to keep that cadence up, but I also could tell it was forcing me to run differently -- with a more engaged core and glutes. I felt ZERO PAIN. And that's truly good news because today was the first I'd run in three weeks without being taped. And the first run I had with no pain was immediately after she'd taped my SI joint. This would seem to indicate several very positive things. 1. The strength work is paying off. 2. I can train a little harder. (I haven't cleared #2 with my doctor, however).

I need to talk to my physio to understand better how I can keep a 180 cadence on a long, slow training run. It seems counter-intuitive to imagine running more slowly while still striding fast, but perhaps the propulsive power in the stride would simply be reduced. I think those quick legs in spin class (which I generally dislike) are going to pay off. I tend to prefer the grindier, long-distance, slower and more powerful use of my leg muscles. I think this might be a core issue, however. I find the core exercises hard to do, mentally and physically. Clearly, they challenge me for a reason.

You know, it was a nice change today to actually begin to think about training toward longer distances again. Today, I also tried running during the day rather than at night or early in the morning. I'm trying to guage how disruptive that is to my writing cycle ... or whether it actually might help me focus more quickly when I actually sit down.

It's going to be hard to train myself back to the level of endurance I enjoyed before. It's probably a good thing that I have to take it relatively easy as I return to more running. Mentally, it's easier to consider going for a thirty minute run than a sixty minute run (let alone a multiple hour run!). I need to build toward those longer distances slowly -- not just physically, but mentally too. It takes a lot of time and commitment. And I'll admit that this recovery process has left me feeling weaker than I did before -- mentally as much as physically. I had this favourite phrase that would pop into my head on long runs, last year: "Indestructible" I would think to myself. I'm not sure why. It made me feel super-powerful rather than doubtful, even if I was feeling tired. I haven't let myself say that since the injury. I know I'm not indestructible. But the thing is, I knew I wasn't indestructible before either, and that didn't stop me from embracing the powerful feeling, or letting myself imagine my own strength in that way. I'm not sure how to get back to point of confidence. Confidence is a funny thing. It doesn't always relate to reality. I'm hardly weak right now, and I know that, but I don't feel it. I wasn't indestructible before, and I knew that, but I felt it anyway.

Curious, isn't it.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Getting better, getting restless

I'm doing physio about once a week now. Today was the day. For the past two weeks, I've had my SI joint taped by the physio, and it's made my running pain-free. No exaggeration. But today she told me this would be the last week I'd have the joint taped. Starting next week, she wants me to run without it, so that my muscles will start doing the work on their own. I'm probably pretty naive, but I sort of thought this taping thing was going pretty well -- why not just tape forever? Apparently that's not how it works.

She worked me hard today, mostly with glute and core work.

I'm getting so much better that it feels like I should be returning to normal training. No, says my physio. Now is probably the time when I'm most at risk of re-injury, feeling just well enough to go too hard and cause quick regression. I must must must force myself to keep at the strengthening exercises, continue to spin/bike and swim, and run only in moderation. Never more than every other day. And not for much longer than 20 minutes at a time.

The arrival of warmth and sunshine does not help my resolve.

On Sunday I will have to post my first-ever DNF at a race I signed up for immediately after the marathon last fall -- a 30km course in nearby Hamilton. If I let myself think about it, it makes me sad, so I'm not letting myself think about it. Truthfully, these strength exercises are crazy hard and take a ton of discipline to do daily. I look as fit as ever, if not fitter, what with the resistance and core training. But I feel out of shape. I wonder whether -- when I get the go-ahead -- I'll have the discipline to train myself back to marathon-running. It took so much hard work to get there. Will I have the patience and resolve to train myself back again? Or will my interests have shifted in the meantime to some other mildly obsessive cause?

Can't remember when I last posted my daily work-outs, so I'll start with last Sunday:

Sunday: run 8km (fast/medium); strength exercises
Monday: swim (2700m); hot yoga, 90 min
Tuesday: spin (1 hour)
Wednesday: strength exercises (40 minutes)
Thursday: spin/weights; strength exercises
Friday: physio, strength/core work (40 minutes)

I plan to run tonight. I wanted to run another 8km, but my physio said no, that really shouldn't happen again, not yet. When I asked why, if I'm running pain-free, she said that was a tough question to answer, but the idea is that I won't know I've pushed too far until it's too late. If I do start to hurt, I've already gone too far. And I'm still running taped. So I'm running with a crutch, essentially, and until I'm running pain-free and on my own strength, with all the core imbalances resolved ... well, stick to short runs, fast is fine -- as long as it doesn't hurt. But short.

Hard advice to take.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Good good good

Sunday: Run (fast; 6km). Strength exercises.
Monday: Yoga (90 mins). Strength exercises.
Tuesday: Spin (1 hr). Strength exercises.
Wednesday: Run (slow; 40 mins).
Thursday: Spin/weights (45 mins). Strength exercises.
Friday: Physio (1 hr). Run (slow, with daughter, 3.6km). Strength exercises.
Saturday: Yoga (1 hr). Run (5.6km, medium). Half of my strength exercises.
Sunday: Run (7.9km, fast/medium).

My run today (Sunday) was longer than I've done in awhile. And I felt it. But what I didn't feel was injured. My physio has taped my SI joint on my left side, and I haven't had pain in my left leg since. I can also feel my glutes kicking in on my runs. Even my right leg hamstring/IT band pain did not flare today. All that flared was a feeling of being so unfit compared to just a few months ago! It was hard. But maybe I can add on a little more distance and a little more distance and gradually work my way back to real long-distance fitness. Will it be harder or easier to do it, having done it before? There isn't the same sense of discovery as the first time; but then again, there is a sense of yes, I can do this! I was just grateful I didn't hurt myself while running rather further than planned today.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Crazy weather, crazy body

I was just folding laundry and saw what a difference a few days makes in terms our crazy winter/spring weather here in Southern Ontario. On Friday night, it was bitterly cold and I wore a double layer of pants for my run. Less than 48 hours later, yesterday afternoon, I ran in cut-off pants and a t-shirt, and I was sweating and hot. And covered in mud by the end of the run.

Yes, I ran three times this past week, and all were "good" runs. Wednesday morning was the toughest slog, but it wasn't half-bad. Friday evening I felt really good despite the cold, and I didn't push the pace too hard, having discussed that problem of mine with my physio and my sports dr just that morning. But yesterday afternoon my legs felt so good that I did push the pace, and pushed and pushed it until I was running 4:30/km for the last two full kilometres. It was exhilerating, and challenging. My daughter rode her bike with me, and luckily she figured out quickly that mom wasn't interested in chatting. I ran 6km in 30 minutes exactly (and that includes the lights I had to wait for ... which really annoyed me). The entire run I kept thinking: I don't feel injured. I'll admit that had I gone much further, the twitch in my right hamstring/IT band would have started to twang much more loudly, but my left leg, which has been the source of all this pain this winter did not trouble me AT ALL. Thrilling! As long as I'm able, I'm going to keep treating these short runs as killer speed challenges. It makes me feel like I'm doing some worthwhile training even while recovering from injury.

This morning I woke up with incredible pain in a nerve in my back -- shoulder blade height, close to the spine. I'm panicking that this is something new and that I need go to back to my chiro, whom I haven't seen for about eight months. I can't afford to go to the chiro as often as he wanted me to, so I gave it up altogether. I hate being lectured. Now I'm wondering .... what to do? If I tried a new chiro, I'd have to pay for the initial assessment before getting treatment. And I already have this VERY EXPENSIVE physio hobby right now. I'll see her on Friday morning. Maybe she'll have thoughts. I don't want to let it go too long because the pain is fairly intense. I'm trying stretching and ice, and will attempt yoga tonight.

Here's what I did last week:

Monday: swim (2500m); physio, strength exercises
Tuesday: spin (1 hr); strength exercises
Wedneday: run (40 mins., slow)
Thursday: strength exercises
Friday: run (30 mins, medium); strength exercises
Saturday: NOTHING! OH NO!
Sunday: run (30 mins, fast); strength exercises, plus some extra yoga @ home to make up for Saturday's slacking off (in my defense, I was distracted by my book being reviewed positively in the Globe and Mail, plus I baked bread, plus my husband and I had the house to ourselves overnight because our children were away on a babysitting exchange ... too much celebrating = no exercise)

Monday, March 5, 2012

Exercise every day

Yay! The new mantra is working. I am exercising every day. It helps that I have to do about twenty-thirty minutes of strengthening exercises for physio every day, so on busy days that might be all I manage. But at least I'm managing that. Must retrain these muscles!

Here was my last week, in exercise:

Monday: swim, 2500m (slow!); physio, strength exercises
Tuesday: spin, 1hr; strength exercises
Wednesday: run, 40 minutes (slow!)
Thursday: spin/weights, 45 minutes; strength exercises
Friday: physio, strength exercises; run, 30 minutes (fast!)
Saturday: strength exercises
Sunday: run, 30 minutes (slow!); strength exercises

No yoga. And I crave more cardio, without a doubt. But as I thought this morning, coming down the stairs in the dark at 5am, I'm doing something. And something is better than nothing. Last year, training was easier, mentally, because I kept seeing improvements. I got stronger, faster, could swim further. This year I have been unable even to maintain my peak fitness from last year, let alone build on it. I've gotten, frankly, slower and in some areas weaker (though certain muscle groups are a heck of a lot stronger, which is nice). That's frustrating. And I think it takes more guts to keep at it when you don't see improvement. But I'm trying. I'm doing my best. I'm showing up. And that's all I ask of myself. Keep showing up, Carrie, keep showing up!