Wow. Quite the difference, reading my last post from August, when I was training intensely, to now, when I'm in post-concussion-land, and haven't run any distance for nearly a month. It's been alternately frustrating and oddly not that hard at all, reverting to a lifestyle that requires much rest, and little activity. With September being so busy, I would have had to scale back my exercise level somewhat anyway, and might have felt guilty over that. Instead, I've scaled back my exercise level nearly to zero and haven't experienced any guilt.
It reminds me that I should never be guilty, no matter my exercise level. I should only be happy to be able to move freely, when I can, and go easy on myself, when I can't.
I suffered a concussion while playing soccer. Ball to the face, from a shot taken at close range. There was no avoiding it, and that worries me. I may never play soccer again. I need this brain to do my work, and as much as I love the sport, I'm not sure I can risk being injured like this again.
I took it easy for about three weeks, then went for a long run (after trying out some shorter runs, and swims, without inducing new symptoms). The long run proved to be too much, and my symptoms came back, only worse than before. I couldn't believe it! I had a headache, nausea, and vision issues for ten days, and spent a lot of time lying on the couch doing absolutely nothing, which prompted me to see a doctor, who has me seeing a physio and a massage therapist. The symptoms have since eased greatly and I've essentially returned to my regular pace work-wise (I'm a writer, and it put me in a state of panic to imagine not being able to function at my previous level, cognitively; I didn't even care about returning to normal physical activity, because I realized my priority was cognitive function).
I've since been cleared by the doctor to walk briskly for an hour (which I started doing last week, without inducing symptoms), and by the physio to begin a return-to-running plan that I started this morning: I walked for 9 minutes, ran for 1. Oh, that running felt fabulous. But I need to monitor my body's response carefully over the next 24 hours. If I'm fine, then I can try 8 minutes of walking, 1 minute of running, and so on, until I'm at a 1:1 ratio, at which point I can begin extending my running time, broken up by a minute of walking.
Here's an observation: It's bloody hard to set the alarm and get up early to WALK. Hats off to everyone who has the will power to do it on a regular basis. I will never ever judge anyone I see walking, rather than running, again. I'll admit to having indulged in a slight feeling of superiority in the past, whenever I'd pass someone walking, or walk/running. Pride goeth before a fall, but more importantly, coming down off a pedestal is an excellent way to gain appreciation for invisible effort. It might look like it takes greater effort to run for an hour than to walk for an hour, but experience tells me that, in fact, the opposite is true. The greater effort is in continuing without a rush of endorphins to carry me along.
This morning, I got up early and walked in the dark. It started to rain. I was alone with my thoughts. I walked briskly for about 53 minutes (and ran for 5 of those, and a blissful 5 minutes those were), and actually went 7.2km, which surprised me. It was further than I'd expected to go.
The other thing I am trying to do, as suggested by the massage therapist, is to be conscious of my posture, especially since I spend so much of my day sitting at my desk.
Exciting, huh.
But I feel really positive, actually. The obstacles are part of the whole experience. Virtually all athletes suffer injury and set-back. In times of injury, I learn to respect my body's limitations, and work to heal. In times of health, I can be all the more joyful and appreciative of what my body is able to do.
