Running on Friday nights

I've been running on Friday nights all fall and winter. I've only missed once in all that time, and that was due to illness, not weather. I run while my two older kids are at soccer. It requires a lot of planning, because we only have one vehicle, and I think that's one of the reasons I've been so committed. The route is intensely boring. I run beside a busy road on a paved path. It's been dark almost since my first run last fall. The path is lit by streetlights, but not well. I wear a headlamp.

Every Friday I think, well the weather can't possibly get worse than this! And every Friday, it seems, it manages to trump the last time. I've run in blowing icy wind, through drifts of freshly falling snow, and in chilly rain. But yesterday's run really was the worst: I ran in the dark on ice. There were all varieties of ice available for my running pleasure: black ice, crunchy ice, long flat slicks of ice, bumpy rivers running downhill that had turned to ice. There was even a patch of not-entirely-frozen ice that I splashed right through. I made it 10.5km in exactly an hour. Slow, but I was pleased not to have injured myself, which right away became the overwhelming goal of that particular run.

I wonder what will be in store for me next Friday ...

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In other news, I am not getting a great deal of running in. My husband is busy many weekends, and I'm alone with the kids, which does not make it possible to run long distances. In fact, my family's schedule just keeps getting busier, and I find there are few opportunities to get out on my own. Early mornings. Occasionally on the weekends. Friday nights.

I am having to cut out one of my spin classes due to cost. I'm sad about it, but have to be realistic. My plan is to get up and go to the track on that morning instead, so I can get a speed run in. I was going to cut both classes, but after spending a day feeling about as depressed as I can remember feeling in recent memory, decided to find a way to keep the one -- early morning exercise is cheaper than therapy, I figure.

So much is up in the air right now.

I asked myself last night, why do I run? Why do I keep doing this? I'm not training for a race. But I feel compelled to get out and go, no matter the ice, no matter the wind, no matter the dark. I know the answer: it makes me feel so much better. If I'm feeling good, it makes me feel great. If I'm feeling low, it brings me right back up again. It clears my head. I feel content, powerful, strong, capable, happy.

That's why I run.