Day 305: Am I Crazy?

This morning, I made a change in race plans. I switched from sprint-length to Olympic-length and will now be completing a triathlon precisely twice the distance of the one I originally signed up for. I'm feeling pretty okay about it, actually. Not quite confident, but okay. (I think I can, I think I can, I think I can).

It wasn't quite a spur-of-the-moment decision. I thought about it all weekend, after finding out that my son had a make-up soccer game on the same day and at the same time as the triathlon I'd originally signed up for (and my husband coaches his team). We could have blown off the game, of course, or I could have competed without family there, but I decided to check with the organizers about switching. Completing the duathlon, and in better time than I'd thought possible, gave me the confidence to consider it. The organizers didn't get back to me right away, so I decided whatever would be, would be.

This morning, I got the message: yup, it's easy to switch.

I hummed for about fifteen minutes, and then I took the leap.

Of course, it's the swim that worries me. I need to get into a lake in my wetsuit. And the longer distance will increase the challenge -- double it, to be precise. But when I started this process, Olympic-length was what I had in mind. At the time, I didn't know whether I could even swim the length of a pool. I'd also never run 10km, let alone cycled 40, let alone done all three consecutively.

Just doing this, in less than a year -- assuming that I can and I do -- would be a pretty amazing accomplishment.

There was an article in the newspaper today about happiness (and it kind of relates to my previous post on competition). It said that realistic expectations keep people happy. If your life doesn't meet your expectations for your life, it has a depressing effect. But you could have the exact same life and with different expectations be a happy person. In other words, our state of mind has less to do with our external circumstances and more to do with how accepting we are of what life brings.

I'm not sure where I fit in with that. I do have pretty high expectations for myself, and it motivates me to keep working hard. But I don't like when I get down on myself despite working as hard as possible. I'll admit: I was down on myself for about a day and a half after my duathlon because the final run was not at the pace I'd wanted to achieve. Ridiculous! Instead of being thrilled at showing up and finishing and going as hard as I possibly could, I was bummed out for not having done better.

But I cheered up pretty fast. And it only made me want to try harder next time. So were my expectations too high? Maybe. Can I lower my expecations for my first ever triathlon? Can I genuinely embrace my original goal of simple completion, or will I be bummed if it takes me more than an hour to run that final 10km? Which it might, on those legs of water.

Here's what I'm hoping for; in fact, it's the best I can possibly hope for: I hope to be happy with the effort put in and the bravery of simply showing up. And if it takes me longer than expected, if I have to change a flat tire along the way or even stop and walk to make it, I hope I'll finish smiling anyway, and smile all the way home. If I can cross the finish line ... well, nine months ago that was a pretty huge "if", and if I can ... wow.

(What the heck am I going to do after that??)

:::

Oh, forgot to check in with last week's summing up: four runs (including duathlon; total = 39km); one swim, one bike rides (duathlon: 30km), and two yoga classes. I also got up earlyish one morning and did yoga on my own to start the day.

This week's plan: two swims, five runs (including a couple of short ones), one/two bike rides, two yoga classes. I kicked off the week with a 50-minute swim that felt pretty good, though not fast, followed by a quick 5km run: 5km in 22 minutes. That's about 4:25/km. I was pleased.