Woke up wishing I'd have one more day between late-night dance fest and trail run. But at least there's today. Today, I am doing nothing. I even napped for nearly an hour, which seems crazy and wasteful, but there it is. I was tired. And I want to feel as fresh and zippy tomorrow morning as it is possible to feel, under the circumstances.
I'm going alone, and hope there will be somewhere secure for me to leave my bag. Will I have to carry my car keys with me on the trail? Probably. I will pick my shirt accordingly. To be perfectly frank, I'm not feeling very energetic or excited today. I'm trying to ignore what I'm going to do tomorrow.
I was really sluggish in the pool yesterday. I got through 2000m and called it quits. I felt tired and didn't want to wear myself out. Nothing like Monday's swim. I've also run twice this week and gone to a hot yoga class. Today, I'm trying to write, and I've got a sick kid home with me (in fact, he's spending the day in the same room with me, because he's lonely and bored), and I'm wearing ear plugs, and after school I have to go pick up our weekly order of local food.
But the babysitting has been arranged for tomorrow, and carpooling for my soccer kid, too. I'll be out the door by 7am. Need to look up directions and pack my bag tonight. Next weekend, I'm planning a 32km long slow run in preparation for the marathon. That will be the longest run I do before the marathon. I've done some research, and that sounds acceptable, even if not ideal. Then again, I haven't actually been training toward a marathon, and there's no way to switch gears this close to the date. I'll just continue to train fairly similarly to how I've been training, and know that I'll have to finish that race on guts alone. That will be my last race of the season, and of this quite astonishing year. I'm proud of the gains I've made in fitness and endurance. It hasn't been easy, and occasionally it's cramped my social life, but for the most part I'm happy with the balance.
Here's the thing about balance: just when you think you've got yourself upright and stable, you have to fight to find your core strength all over again. A balancing act is never ending, requires constant vigilance, and you have to fall sometimes, too.
I'll let you know how this race goes .... Here's hoping to enjoy myself during and feel happy afterward.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Day: awesome swim
Well, that felt great. For some reason, I've really noticed a boost in my endurance in the pool this fall. Maybe it's all the running I've been doing. Who knows. But this morning, I was pleased to be able to keep my pace steady and fast for the first 1500m (fast for me, that is--it's all relative). I like using 1500 metres as a mark because that's how far you have to swim for an Olympic triathlon. I remember that distance used to wear me out, that I was really struggling to complete it feeling comfortable--I mean, that's how I felt just before doing the triathlon. And now that length is pretty comfortable. I'd like to test this out next summer by doing the triathlon again.
Right now, I'd say I'm good up to about 2000m, at which point it becomes more laborious to keep my stroke going well.
But I felt good enough today to push on for 2800m, completed in just under an hour. My goal is 3000m in that hour, but that's still awhile away. Nevertheless, there were moments in the pool today when my stroke and kick felt really smooth and clean ... and I was wishing I wouldn't have to turn around every 20m because my momentum was good.
I took this past Friday off. Stayed up late (late for me, that is--yup, it's really relative) and had three glasses of wine. Went for an early run the next morning while my daughter was at her soccer tryout. There is a lovely trail near the fiel, paved, though, not dirt, and I ran for a little over an hour and managed 13.6km. I wasn't feeling fabulous, in fact, I was feeling a bit hungover (I hardly ever drink anymore!), but I persevered and it was a nice run, overall. That's progress, I think. I did the same run yesterday morning, too, following another late night and not enough sleep and one beer. It felt harder, but I think that was because I threw in three sprints right in the middle of the run, just to see if I could. As I said to Kevin afterward, "Why do I do that to myself? Any normal person would be satisfied with a nice run, but I'm thinking, this is too slow, I'm not working hard enough, I need to do more ...." Anyway ... those sprints killed me. I only made it 11km and was glad to be done.
Still, that put my week's mileage at 38.8km. Much less than the previous couple of weeks, but on track with the training schedule posted by the Run for the Toad people.
A few more shortish runs this week, and then I'll be running 25km in Saturday's race. Yikes. But I think I can. I'm not too worried, more worried about setting the right pace and running a smart race.
:::
P.S. I JUST SIGNED UP TO RUN A MARATHON!!!! On November 6th. (That must have been a really good swim this morning).
Right now, I'd say I'm good up to about 2000m, at which point it becomes more laborious to keep my stroke going well.
But I felt good enough today to push on for 2800m, completed in just under an hour. My goal is 3000m in that hour, but that's still awhile away. Nevertheless, there were moments in the pool today when my stroke and kick felt really smooth and clean ... and I was wishing I wouldn't have to turn around every 20m because my momentum was good.
I took this past Friday off. Stayed up late (late for me, that is--yup, it's really relative) and had three glasses of wine. Went for an early run the next morning while my daughter was at her soccer tryout. There is a lovely trail near the fiel, paved, though, not dirt, and I ran for a little over an hour and managed 13.6km. I wasn't feeling fabulous, in fact, I was feeling a bit hungover (I hardly ever drink anymore!), but I persevered and it was a nice run, overall. That's progress, I think. I did the same run yesterday morning, too, following another late night and not enough sleep and one beer. It felt harder, but I think that was because I threw in three sprints right in the middle of the run, just to see if I could. As I said to Kevin afterward, "Why do I do that to myself? Any normal person would be satisfied with a nice run, but I'm thinking, this is too slow, I'm not working hard enough, I need to do more ...." Anyway ... those sprints killed me. I only made it 11km and was glad to be done.
Still, that put my week's mileage at 38.8km. Much less than the previous couple of weeks, but on track with the training schedule posted by the Run for the Toad people.
A few more shortish runs this week, and then I'll be running 25km in Saturday's race. Yikes. But I think I can. I'm not too worried, more worried about setting the right pace and running a smart race.
:::
P.S. I JUST SIGNED UP TO RUN A MARATHON!!!! On November 6th. (That must have been a really good swim this morning).
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Day: second swim of the week
Thursdays are nice at the pool. The lanes are lengthened by 5 metres (to 25m), the swim club kids are swimming which I always find immensely cheerful--all those kids getting up at 5am!--and today there were way less people than on Monday or Friday. I swam in the same lane with the woman I used to swim with (she did her fourth Ironman this summer) ... and I've gotten way faster. She used to lap me regularly, but today I was gaining on her by increments until about 1000m when I must have slowed slightly and she started to gain on me by increments. But then she left and I had the lane to myself for the rest of the hour. I didn't swim for quite an hour, but did swim 2600m. I added the extra 100m because I don't think I've ever gone longer than 2500, and I'd like to work my way up to 3000. The running work is definitely paying off in the pool in terms of endurance gains. I didn't feel fatigued until that magical number of 2500, and then it seemed like my stroke deteriorated, which is why I didn't push it. Also because the pool was getting busier and a bunch of people were coming into the leisure lane, where I swam today--but not because I felt leisurely or slow, just because it was empty.
So this week I swam 4800m. I've also gone to one 90-minute hot yoga class, which was, frankly, blissful. Those classes feel much less challenging than they used to, but the stretching feels immensely good, and the stillness and quiet are something I look forward to all week. But I haven't done quite the same amount of running this week. I felt pretty tired after that long week on Sunday evening. According to the training schedule I'm following for the Toad, I should do two 12.5km runs this weekend in place of one long run.
What I'd LOVE to do is drive over to my favourite trail spot and run tonight, but it's meet the teacher night. No running going to happen. Will have to get up early tomorrow to fit in a run. I'm feeling pretty tired by the end of the week, though. Also trying to fit in some small moments of socializing. Went out with my siblings last night, and plan to have friends over for a drink tomorrow night. And go out with my husband on Saturday night!
How to fit everything in? Don't know. And I also feel like I need another goal to work toward, to keep me motivated, though signing up for classes helps: I'm sure to go to spin class when it starts next month, because I'm going with friends and I'm paying for it. Beyond that ... not sure. But it definitely is motivating to sign up for a race and work toward it. It might be worth it just for that.
(I'll admit that I got a little bummed recently reading this short piece in the newspaper written by a marathoner--she's giving weekly exercise tips to aspiring marathoners, and she posted Canada's ninth fastest marathon time for a female runner. So last week, her tip was to stick with your pace and not go faster at the beginning. Her pace? She planned to run her very first marathon in under three hours (!!!!!) so her pace was approximately 2:55/km, except she mess up and ran her first kilometre in 2:45. Did you read that correctly? 2:45 and 2:55/km. When I'm running as fast as I possibly can, for those 12km runs, I'm averaging 4:55/km, maybe running a few of those kilometres at 4:40. So she's running her first marathon TWO MINUTES faster PER KILOMETRE. Anyway, the moral of her story was that she should have stuck to her plan because she seized up around the 34km mark, and staggered to a time of 3:10, I think it was. Good grief. I'll never be anywhere near that fast, no matter how hard I work. So that was a bit discouraging to contemplate. And yes, I realize that my goals are impossibly grandiose, and I'm never going to be Canada's xth faster marathoner, but gee, it would have been nice to think I could run a bit faster than I'm running now--okay, a lot faster. If she can do that for a marathon, just imagine what her 5km time would work out to!).
That was a long tangent. I must be sleepy. Very short nap this morning to refresh brain. Must get to work.
So this week I swam 4800m. I've also gone to one 90-minute hot yoga class, which was, frankly, blissful. Those classes feel much less challenging than they used to, but the stretching feels immensely good, and the stillness and quiet are something I look forward to all week. But I haven't done quite the same amount of running this week. I felt pretty tired after that long week on Sunday evening. According to the training schedule I'm following for the Toad, I should do two 12.5km runs this weekend in place of one long run.
What I'd LOVE to do is drive over to my favourite trail spot and run tonight, but it's meet the teacher night. No running going to happen. Will have to get up early tomorrow to fit in a run. I'm feeling pretty tired by the end of the week, though. Also trying to fit in some small moments of socializing. Went out with my siblings last night, and plan to have friends over for a drink tomorrow night. And go out with my husband on Saturday night!
How to fit everything in? Don't know. And I also feel like I need another goal to work toward, to keep me motivated, though signing up for classes helps: I'm sure to go to spin class when it starts next month, because I'm going with friends and I'm paying for it. Beyond that ... not sure. But it definitely is motivating to sign up for a race and work toward it. It might be worth it just for that.
(I'll admit that I got a little bummed recently reading this short piece in the newspaper written by a marathoner--she's giving weekly exercise tips to aspiring marathoners, and she posted Canada's ninth fastest marathon time for a female runner. So last week, her tip was to stick with your pace and not go faster at the beginning. Her pace? She planned to run her very first marathon in under three hours (!!!!!) so her pace was approximately 2:55/km, except she mess up and ran her first kilometre in 2:45. Did you read that correctly? 2:45 and 2:55/km. When I'm running as fast as I possibly can, for those 12km runs, I'm averaging 4:55/km, maybe running a few of those kilometres at 4:40. So she's running her first marathon TWO MINUTES faster PER KILOMETRE. Anyway, the moral of her story was that she should have stuck to her plan because she seized up around the 34km mark, and staggered to a time of 3:10, I think it was. Good grief. I'll never be anywhere near that fast, no matter how hard I work. So that was a bit discouraging to contemplate. And yes, I realize that my goals are impossibly grandiose, and I'm never going to be Canada's xth faster marathoner, but gee, it would have been nice to think I could run a bit faster than I'm running now--okay, a lot faster. If she can do that for a marathon, just imagine what her 5km time would work out to!).
That was a long tangent. I must be sleepy. Very short nap this morning to refresh brain. Must get to work.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Day: should I do a marathon this fall?
I think I could still sign up for a marathon, if that's a form of torture I'd like to inflict upon myself at least once before I die. I've been doing a lot of running in the past month, and as I look at my distances, I'm realizing that this looks more like marathon training than half-marathon training (though I could sign up for one of those, and it would almost seem breezy).
Here are the numbers from the past four weeks of running (and since returning from the cottage, when I ran precisely zero kilometres for an entire week):
week one: 31.7km
week two: 51.4km
week three: 50.9km
week four: 69.3km
I had in mind, very loosely, an eight-week running experiment, where I would try my best to improve my times and my endurance simply by running longer and faster and more often. I'm running five times a week, now. Not sure why I wanted to do this, though I was hoping to be in fighting shape for the Toad run; as I was running last night, however, I thought, gee, I should revisit that marathon notion. I'm probably not a natural marathoner; I'm probably going to be better at the shorter distances, like the 10km, and possibly the half. But I would like to do it once in my lifetime. And this seems to be the year for doing new things. I should slip a 5km race in here just to cover my bases.
Won't run today, because I got up and swam instead. Wasn't feeling particularly perky, having just run 23km a mere eleven hours previously, but still managed to back and forth myself to 2200m. My goal was 2000, and anything on top of that was gravy. The pool was very crowded today, but our lane worked out well, even when it had four swimmers in it. We were all going relatively the same speed. A good start to the week.
Here are the numbers from the past four weeks of running (and since returning from the cottage, when I ran precisely zero kilometres for an entire week):
week one: 31.7km
week two: 51.4km
week three: 50.9km
week four: 69.3km
I had in mind, very loosely, an eight-week running experiment, where I would try my best to improve my times and my endurance simply by running longer and faster and more often. I'm running five times a week, now. Not sure why I wanted to do this, though I was hoping to be in fighting shape for the Toad run; as I was running last night, however, I thought, gee, I should revisit that marathon notion. I'm probably not a natural marathoner; I'm probably going to be better at the shorter distances, like the 10km, and possibly the half. But I would like to do it once in my lifetime. And this seems to be the year for doing new things. I should slip a 5km race in here just to cover my bases.
Won't run today, because I got up and swam instead. Wasn't feeling particularly perky, having just run 23km a mere eleven hours previously, but still managed to back and forth myself to 2200m. My goal was 2000, and anything on top of that was gravy. The pool was very crowded today, but our lane worked out well, even when it had four swimmers in it. We were all going relatively the same speed. A good start to the week.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Day: looooong run
Two more runs to note. Did not run or do anything on Friday. Too tired to get up to swim, had insomnia and was awake through the night, and decided to sleep instead. I have a tight writing deadline to meet and that and other thoughts were keeping me awake and I couldn't add swimming to my to-do list. So ...
Yesterday was spent mostly at my daughter's soccer cup final. By the time we got home it was after 3pm, and we'd been gone all day, and I had another to-do list up to my neck and I was so stressed out that my husband suggested I go for a run. He knows me well. Off I went, and burned up the 12.2km route in under an hour. Don't know why, but I love the feeling of pushing myself past the point of no return.
That helped.
Today, I needed to do a long run in preparation for this upcoming trail run (now in less than two weeks). I wanted to go at least 20km, but didn't get started until nearly suppertime. But I'm home now, and I'm pleased. I ran for two hours and five minutes, and when I marked out my route, I'd gone 23km. Not bad. That puts me at around 5:30 or so per kilometre, and it felt very doable. I was not pushing myself, except toward the end when my legs started to fatigue. But I stayed in a very easy breathing mode. It's amazing the difference 30-40 seconds per kilometre make in the breathing and the effort. Knocking a couple of minutes off one's time is harder than it seems on first glance.
Okay, now to shower and get back to that massive to-do list, which is still there waiting to be done.
Yesterday was spent mostly at my daughter's soccer cup final. By the time we got home it was after 3pm, and we'd been gone all day, and I had another to-do list up to my neck and I was so stressed out that my husband suggested I go for a run. He knows me well. Off I went, and burned up the 12.2km route in under an hour. Don't know why, but I love the feeling of pushing myself past the point of no return.
That helped.
Today, I needed to do a long run in preparation for this upcoming trail run (now in less than two weeks). I wanted to go at least 20km, but didn't get started until nearly suppertime. But I'm home now, and I'm pleased. I ran for two hours and five minutes, and when I marked out my route, I'd gone 23km. Not bad. That puts me at around 5:30 or so per kilometre, and it felt very doable. I was not pushing myself, except toward the end when my legs started to fatigue. But I stayed in a very easy breathing mode. It's amazing the difference 30-40 seconds per kilometre make in the breathing and the effort. Knocking a couple of minutes off one's time is harder than it seems on first glance.
Okay, now to shower and get back to that massive to-do list, which is still there waiting to be done.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Day: trail running
On last soccer practice yesterday evening, though it was at different park, thankfully near enough to my favourite trail-running park for it to make sense for me to drive over and run. Seems ridiculous to drive to go for a run ... but I just love these trails. They're easy on my joins, and the hills are crazy, and it's such a challenge. Plus, I can see the improvements in my cardio and strength after a summer of running them fairly regularly (not quite once-a-week). I still haven't found a way to figure out distances on these trails, but when I started running them, half an hour of hard running did me in, and I'm up to a full hour, now.
There is a running club (actually, more than one) that meets and runs these trails on Thursday evenings. They might be a university-based club, because their numbers have swelled these last two weeks, but there are several older men among their number, so I haven't quite figured them out. Most look university-aged. They seem to start with a free-ranging warm-up (I can never guess which direction they'll be running for that, and you kind of want to choose the same direction, because they're a huge pack; going the wrong way is like swimming against the tide). And then they run a loop, down and up, and around the field. They seem to run several intervals of this loop, so I'm guessing it's between 1-2 kilometres. Might just be 1 km with a cool-down built into it. So yesterday, I ran around and around, taking different paths and trying to avoid getting in anyone's way. On my last time around, I decided to run their loop, and it happened that just as turned onto that path, one of the faster groups blew by me. So I chased them. I wanted to see if I could come close to going how fast they were going. Downhill, it was pretty easy to keep up, but they were definitely faster than my on the straightaway at the bottom. But I saw a group of slower runners ahead of them make way, and then realized I was running much faster than this group, too (and they were also with the running club). They politely made way for me, too, and then I had to pound up the hill ahead of them, trying to maintain pace. At this point, I'd been running hard for an hour, and I was pretty much at transcendence, so I pushed it up the hill, and continued on after the faster group, who were now a couple hundred metres ahead of me. But I wasn't quite brave enough to follow their exact path out of the woods and around the field, sprinting after them.
I'm not part of the team, after all, just an interloper. So I finished my run by heading for the parking lot on a different path. Afterward, I wished I'd run after them just to test myself out. Why not?
And I had a couple of different thoughts. One: why are there no older women running with that running club? There are quite a few older men (ie. older than me), lots of young men, and a fair-sized group of young women. But not one woman older than university-aged. Weird.
Two: I'd really like to run with a team. I sense that it would push me in ways that I can't push myself. Psychologically, it would be hard, because when I'm on my own, I'm always the fastest (and the slowest; you know what I mean). It might feel like I'm pushing myself hard, but without that extra jolt of fear/encouragement that competition provides, I can't know how much harder I could actually push. I wonder how one joins a team?
More running thoughts and some confusion: how hard is too hard? For example, should I have run two days in a row, both days pushing very hard? I ran a personal best 12km time on Wednesday evening, and then went out the very next evening and ran for approximately the same distance, pushing as hard as I could. (I know I'm running at my preferred level of exertion when I'm breathing too deeply to talk; if I can talk, I'm not running very hard). Is that too much? I've read that runners should take breaks after races--two weeks after a 10km race. ???? But I try to run much like I'm in a race, when I run, most runs. So I don't know. I may be wearing myself out rather than building my strength, who knows. I'm not an expert. Another reason it would be nice to run with a team, and a coach.
Can I just repeat, ad nauseum, how much I love to run? I love digging down into the layers of myself, into the layers of the experience, which seems to get harder and then somehow, weirdly, easier, almost like my body can tolerate more as my mind drifts further and further above the experience. I felt yesterday like I was coming into a deeper understanding of the meaning of transcendence.
There is a running club (actually, more than one) that meets and runs these trails on Thursday evenings. They might be a university-based club, because their numbers have swelled these last two weeks, but there are several older men among their number, so I haven't quite figured them out. Most look university-aged. They seem to start with a free-ranging warm-up (I can never guess which direction they'll be running for that, and you kind of want to choose the same direction, because they're a huge pack; going the wrong way is like swimming against the tide). And then they run a loop, down and up, and around the field. They seem to run several intervals of this loop, so I'm guessing it's between 1-2 kilometres. Might just be 1 km with a cool-down built into it. So yesterday, I ran around and around, taking different paths and trying to avoid getting in anyone's way. On my last time around, I decided to run their loop, and it happened that just as turned onto that path, one of the faster groups blew by me. So I chased them. I wanted to see if I could come close to going how fast they were going. Downhill, it was pretty easy to keep up, but they were definitely faster than my on the straightaway at the bottom. But I saw a group of slower runners ahead of them make way, and then realized I was running much faster than this group, too (and they were also with the running club). They politely made way for me, too, and then I had to pound up the hill ahead of them, trying to maintain pace. At this point, I'd been running hard for an hour, and I was pretty much at transcendence, so I pushed it up the hill, and continued on after the faster group, who were now a couple hundred metres ahead of me. But I wasn't quite brave enough to follow their exact path out of the woods and around the field, sprinting after them.
I'm not part of the team, after all, just an interloper. So I finished my run by heading for the parking lot on a different path. Afterward, I wished I'd run after them just to test myself out. Why not?
And I had a couple of different thoughts. One: why are there no older women running with that running club? There are quite a few older men (ie. older than me), lots of young men, and a fair-sized group of young women. But not one woman older than university-aged. Weird.
Two: I'd really like to run with a team. I sense that it would push me in ways that I can't push myself. Psychologically, it would be hard, because when I'm on my own, I'm always the fastest (and the slowest; you know what I mean). It might feel like I'm pushing myself hard, but without that extra jolt of fear/encouragement that competition provides, I can't know how much harder I could actually push. I wonder how one joins a team?
More running thoughts and some confusion: how hard is too hard? For example, should I have run two days in a row, both days pushing very hard? I ran a personal best 12km time on Wednesday evening, and then went out the very next evening and ran for approximately the same distance, pushing as hard as I could. (I know I'm running at my preferred level of exertion when I'm breathing too deeply to talk; if I can talk, I'm not running very hard). Is that too much? I've read that runners should take breaks after races--two weeks after a 10km race. ???? But I try to run much like I'm in a race, when I run, most runs. So I don't know. I may be wearing myself out rather than building my strength, who knows. I'm not an expert. Another reason it would be nice to run with a team, and a coach.
Can I just repeat, ad nauseum, how much I love to run? I love digging down into the layers of myself, into the layers of the experience, which seems to get harder and then somehow, weirdly, easier, almost like my body can tolerate more as my mind drifts further and further above the experience. I felt yesterday like I was coming into a deeper understanding of the meaning of transcendence.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Day: I did it!
Actually, it's night now, not day, but I had to report on this evening's run, which I didn't much feel like attempting as the rest of the family sat down to the meal I'd prepared with such effort and care (pasta with fresh-made pesto, and a quinoa/bean/veggie salad). But I put on my running clothes and my watch, and headed out. "I hope it doesn't start raining on me," I said. And it did. But by that point, I really didn't care.
I hadn't decided whether to do 10 or 12km, but of course, the further I went, the further I wanted to go, so I went to the 12.2km turnaround. I was pretty much exactly on course for 5-minutes per kilometre, which slightly bummed me out. Could I really not go any faster? My lungs were churning away, it seemed. So I decided to try to go faster. I pushed it even going up this very very long hill that's part of the eighth kilometre, and somehow managed to keep pace, and then I just got faster. It was weird. The last four kilometres were my fastest of the whole run. By the end, I'd run 12km in 58 minutes (I did note how long I had to wait for traffic and made those deductions; stupid traffic).
I'm still waiting for all of this to feel easy. (She says, smiling).
One good thing to report: my legs and muscles never felt tired. But that was balanced by my lungs feeling pretty much stretched to the limit. It makes me wonder: how do I improve my lung capacity? Is it just by pushing my breathing to its edge and staying there for as long as possible? Does it get easier? I also had the thought (realization) that no matter how much I train, my body is only capable of what it's capable of, if you know what I mean. I might be a 5-minute/kilometre runner, and that might be all that I can really do. Everyone has an end-point, no matter how much effort is put into it. I'm pretty darn certain I'll never be a 3-minute/kilometre runner. But I'd like to be a 4-minute/kilometre runner. That would be exciting.
The faster I ran, however, the more difficult it was to maintain control and balance. I tend to be a highly controlled runner. I run with a particular rhythm that involves breath and pace, and it's disconcerting to lose either. The two go together. It's very rhythmic.
Anyway, I arrived home a happy woman, excited by the accomplishment, and always, but always, dreaming of more. Why do I like to push myself so hard? I couldn't begin to tell you. All I know is, it's easier the further I run. The further I run, the more my conscious/self-conscious/worrying/can-I-really-keep-doing-this self gets pushed to the side, and some inner spirit takes over, a bit more reckless, a bit crazy, really. It's like digging down through layers until you've reached pure effort.
I hadn't decided whether to do 10 or 12km, but of course, the further I went, the further I wanted to go, so I went to the 12.2km turnaround. I was pretty much exactly on course for 5-minutes per kilometre, which slightly bummed me out. Could I really not go any faster? My lungs were churning away, it seemed. So I decided to try to go faster. I pushed it even going up this very very long hill that's part of the eighth kilometre, and somehow managed to keep pace, and then I just got faster. It was weird. The last four kilometres were my fastest of the whole run. By the end, I'd run 12km in 58 minutes (I did note how long I had to wait for traffic and made those deductions; stupid traffic).
I'm still waiting for all of this to feel easy. (She says, smiling).
One good thing to report: my legs and muscles never felt tired. But that was balanced by my lungs feeling pretty much stretched to the limit. It makes me wonder: how do I improve my lung capacity? Is it just by pushing my breathing to its edge and staying there for as long as possible? Does it get easier? I also had the thought (realization) that no matter how much I train, my body is only capable of what it's capable of, if you know what I mean. I might be a 5-minute/kilometre runner, and that might be all that I can really do. Everyone has an end-point, no matter how much effort is put into it. I'm pretty darn certain I'll never be a 3-minute/kilometre runner. But I'd like to be a 4-minute/kilometre runner. That would be exciting.
The faster I ran, however, the more difficult it was to maintain control and balance. I tend to be a highly controlled runner. I run with a particular rhythm that involves breath and pace, and it's disconcerting to lose either. The two go together. It's very rhythmic.
Anyway, I arrived home a happy woman, excited by the accomplishment, and always, but always, dreaming of more. Why do I like to push myself so hard? I couldn't begin to tell you. All I know is, it's easier the further I run. The further I run, the more my conscious/self-conscious/worrying/can-I-really-keep-doing-this self gets pushed to the side, and some inner spirit takes over, a bit more reckless, a bit crazy, really. It's like digging down through layers until you've reached pure effort.
Day: lazy lie in
I felt lazy this morning, lying in until after 7am, while my husband and two oldest kids got up around 6:45 and went to the pool for a swim. But I also felt really proud of them for going--for the second time this week. My eldest (age 10) was proud to report that he swam 10 laps in a row without stopping. Husband (age 41) was proud to report making it three laps without stopping (he's still learning how to swim). Daughter, age 8, forgot her towel and was drying herself off afterwards with her sweater (aaghh!!) when a kind older woman offered to lend her a towel.
I felt slightly envious of their obvious energy as they burst through the front door. I could have set the alarm and run really early this morning. But I'm fighting a cold, and my Wednesday running partner is away for the day, and I didn't feel like going on my own again, in the dark and the cold. I plan to run tonight instead.
Yesterday, I ran 9.9 km (can I count that as 10?) in under 50 minutes, pounding around the neighbourhood streets. I guess I could have run out on my familiar trail, but it seems sort of isolated and dangerous when I'm running on my own and it's so dark. I don't mind running the neighbourhood loop, and I'm mostly able to run in the street rather than on the sidewalks, but one section of street is so slanted that I have to run right down the middle to feel comfortable, otherwise it's like running on an angle, and I feel it in my knees.
I also made it to an evening 90-minute hot yoga class. So glad I went. I almost skipped, due to feeling under the weather, but it was so good to go and sweat, and weirdly, I felt really strong throughout. It reminded me that it's a good general rule not to skip any workouts unless I'm actually feverish. Exercise boosts the immune system. I followed this rule last winter, reminding myself that if people receiving cancer treatments who feel really really sick can keep working out, then so can I. You don't have to feel in the peak of health to go for a run. You just might have to run more slowly, or go a little easier on yourself.
Looking forward to this evening's run. It will still be light out, so I hope to hit my familiar trail. And then I'll banish this feeling of laziness.
I felt slightly envious of their obvious energy as they burst through the front door. I could have set the alarm and run really early this morning. But I'm fighting a cold, and my Wednesday running partner is away for the day, and I didn't feel like going on my own again, in the dark and the cold. I plan to run tonight instead.
Yesterday, I ran 9.9 km (can I count that as 10?) in under 50 minutes, pounding around the neighbourhood streets. I guess I could have run out on my familiar trail, but it seems sort of isolated and dangerous when I'm running on my own and it's so dark. I don't mind running the neighbourhood loop, and I'm mostly able to run in the street rather than on the sidewalks, but one section of street is so slanted that I have to run right down the middle to feel comfortable, otherwise it's like running on an angle, and I feel it in my knees.
I also made it to an evening 90-minute hot yoga class. So glad I went. I almost skipped, due to feeling under the weather, but it was so good to go and sweat, and weirdly, I felt really strong throughout. It reminded me that it's a good general rule not to skip any workouts unless I'm actually feverish. Exercise boosts the immune system. I followed this rule last winter, reminding myself that if people receiving cancer treatments who feel really really sick can keep working out, then so can I. You don't have to feel in the peak of health to go for a run. You just might have to run more slowly, or go a little easier on yourself.
Looking forward to this evening's run. It will still be light out, so I hope to hit my familiar trail. And then I'll banish this feeling of laziness.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Day: swim, swim, swim
Started the week with a swim. Wonderful. I swam the first 1500 metres relatively on pace (approximately 10-11 minutes per 500 metres), and then found myself slowing down for the last 1000 metres. I counted this morning. I think 2500 metres is my new norm. I can do it in under an hour, and hope that down the road, with increased fitness and assuming my stroke continues to improve, I can get to 3000 metres in an hour. Well, it's a big goal.
One weird thing about this morning's swim: it was really really busy, with a Master's swim club churning the place up. And in the lane next to mine, I kept seeing what looked like a mirage: a teeny-tiny figure at the bottom of the pool. It must be really deep down there, or the water really distorts perspective, because someone was swimming right at the bottom of the pool and he looked like something I was making up in my imagination. He (could have been she, come to think of it) would dive down to the very bottom and then swim the entire length along the bottom, and then surface. I get a creepy kind of feeling when I pass over things in a lake--like logs or fish or unidentified buried objects, and this made me feel a bit creepy, too. Not sure what that feeling is, nor how to describe it with precision.
One weird thing about this morning's swim: it was really really busy, with a Master's swim club churning the place up. And in the lane next to mine, I kept seeing what looked like a mirage: a teeny-tiny figure at the bottom of the pool. It must be really deep down there, or the water really distorts perspective, because someone was swimming right at the bottom of the pool and he looked like something I was making up in my imagination. He (could have been she, come to think of it) would dive down to the very bottom and then swim the entire length along the bottom, and then surface. I get a creepy kind of feeling when I pass over things in a lake--like logs or fish or unidentified buried objects, and this made me feel a bit creepy, too. Not sure what that feeling is, nor how to describe it with precision.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Day: long(ish) run
Swam Friday morning. Did nothing on Saturday except stand in the kitchen all day making and canning pearsauce. I could have gotten up early to run, but I just didn't feel like it. I kind of regretted it, but on the other hand, I was so tired after being so busy all week. I needed that hour of extra sleep.
Yesterday was a long day, with fun events in the evening that included beer and wine. I partook, but not too heavily. Still, I didn't wake up in the mood for a long run, as I'd planned. But I put on my running gear, ate some breakfast, and headed out. The first couple of kilometres it felt like my body was not in the least bit interested in the prospect of running. I was glad I wasn't attempting a half-Ironman (which was being run today not too far from here). I went slowly and just appreciated the fact that I'd gotten out.
For the first time ever, I had to stop and pee in the bushes along the way. I'd barely gone three kilometres! But I felt much better after that, and started to enjoy the run. The weather was beautiful. There were lots of runners and cyclists out, and I ran all the way out to the countryside. I wish I could always run that far, and then I wish I could just keep on running (and maybe get a ride home ... because the problem with running out is that you have to, at some point, turn and run all the way back again).Fields and sky. Perfect.
On my way home, I knew when I hit the mark where I was 6 kilometres from home, and I was feeling so good that I figured I could try to push the pace a bit. So I ran as fast as I could manage, noting my time at each kilometre-mark (this is a route I know very well). I ran the first three kilometres in 14 minutes, which pleased me to no end, but then I started to feel not quite so perky after all. I made it 5 kilometres in 24 minutes, and then let myself walk briefly in order to take a quick drink, and then started up again. I didn't feel like I'd run that last kilometre very fast at all, but I still made it home with a time of 30 minutes for those last 6 kilometres. It was nice to know that I could run that far at that pace, after having already run what turned out to be just over 11 kilometres. But I wouldn't want to suffer at that pace for another seven, which is how much further I'll have to run in the train run in a few weeks. Still, I ran 17.2 kilometres in an hour and thirty minutes, and felt very comfortable for 14 of those kilometres.
All in all, it was such a happy run, and I was so glad to have made myself just get out there and try.
Good news: I've found a babysitter to come here to be with the kids on race morning, now just need to find some rides for the big kids to their soccer tryouts.
Yesterday was a long day, with fun events in the evening that included beer and wine. I partook, but not too heavily. Still, I didn't wake up in the mood for a long run, as I'd planned. But I put on my running gear, ate some breakfast, and headed out. The first couple of kilometres it felt like my body was not in the least bit interested in the prospect of running. I was glad I wasn't attempting a half-Ironman (which was being run today not too far from here). I went slowly and just appreciated the fact that I'd gotten out.
For the first time ever, I had to stop and pee in the bushes along the way. I'd barely gone three kilometres! But I felt much better after that, and started to enjoy the run. The weather was beautiful. There were lots of runners and cyclists out, and I ran all the way out to the countryside. I wish I could always run that far, and then I wish I could just keep on running (and maybe get a ride home ... because the problem with running out is that you have to, at some point, turn and run all the way back again).Fields and sky. Perfect.
On my way home, I knew when I hit the mark where I was 6 kilometres from home, and I was feeling so good that I figured I could try to push the pace a bit. So I ran as fast as I could manage, noting my time at each kilometre-mark (this is a route I know very well). I ran the first three kilometres in 14 minutes, which pleased me to no end, but then I started to feel not quite so perky after all. I made it 5 kilometres in 24 minutes, and then let myself walk briefly in order to take a quick drink, and then started up again. I didn't feel like I'd run that last kilometre very fast at all, but I still made it home with a time of 30 minutes for those last 6 kilometres. It was nice to know that I could run that far at that pace, after having already run what turned out to be just over 11 kilometres. But I wouldn't want to suffer at that pace for another seven, which is how much further I'll have to run in the train run in a few weeks. Still, I ran 17.2 kilometres in an hour and thirty minutes, and felt very comfortable for 14 of those kilometres.
All in all, it was such a happy run, and I was so glad to have made myself just get out there and try.
Good news: I've found a babysitter to come here to be with the kids on race morning, now just need to find some rides for the big kids to their soccer tryouts.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Day: Back in the pool!
First of all, I had such a good run yesterday evening. Fifty minutes of booting it up and down hills on lovely shaded trails, in the company of a ton of other runners. The hills were alive! I have no idea how far I went, but I got faster as I went (I ran a loop, so I could see that each loop was progressively faster), and it felt much more effortless. Not entirely effortless, of course, but as effortless as running can feel. I didn't want to stop, but my daughter's game had already started, and I didn't want to miss any more.
This morning, I got up early and went swimming. Back to the pool! I haven't been in the indoor pool since June, and it was dark and it felt like the right place to be. The lane distance is terribly short, and I still don't have a good turning around method, but other than that, it was an entirely pleasurable swim. My stroke felt solid, and my technique has definitely improved over the summer, and I just basically swam for an hour. I'm contemplating dropping one early morning swim in favour of the triathlon class on Wednesday evenings. I'm not sure I can do more than three (very) early mornings a week. We'll see.
I swam for what I estimate was 2500m, or an hour. My goggles get really foggy, which was terrible for lake swimming, but kind of nice in the pool, though I couldn't see anyone until I was actually upon them. I also pull the swim cap right over my ears, so it's like being in a sensory deprivation tank (or so I imagine). And it's lovely. I had some good ideas for my new character and book. I didn't count laps until the end, so I'm only estimating my distance, but I was swimming in the same lane with a friend, so I guessed based on what she swam, plus what I counted when she got out of the water.
A good start to my Friday!!! But I'm going to need a nap, that's for sure. Time to go wake these children for school.
This morning, I got up early and went swimming. Back to the pool! I haven't been in the indoor pool since June, and it was dark and it felt like the right place to be. The lane distance is terribly short, and I still don't have a good turning around method, but other than that, it was an entirely pleasurable swim. My stroke felt solid, and my technique has definitely improved over the summer, and I just basically swam for an hour. I'm contemplating dropping one early morning swim in favour of the triathlon class on Wednesday evenings. I'm not sure I can do more than three (very) early mornings a week. We'll see.
I swam for what I estimate was 2500m, or an hour. My goggles get really foggy, which was terrible for lake swimming, but kind of nice in the pool, though I couldn't see anyone until I was actually upon them. I also pull the swim cap right over my ears, so it's like being in a sensory deprivation tank (or so I imagine). And it's lovely. I had some good ideas for my new character and book. I didn't count laps until the end, so I'm only estimating my distance, but I was swimming in the same lane with a friend, so I guessed based on what she swam, plus what I counted when she got out of the water.
A good start to my Friday!!! But I'm going to need a nap, that's for sure. Time to go wake these children for school.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Day: trying to remember what I've done
I was not regularly at my desk during the final two weeks before school started. Almost never, actually, so my handy spreadsheet didn't get updated until today. And I couldn't for the life of me even remember what I was doing last week ... it already seems so long ago.
Last Friday, I ran for the fifth day in a row, and it was really hot, and I ran in the early afternoon, and I suffered. It was brutal, really. I was getting chills by the second half of the run. I did not go 12km as planned, but cut my run short and made it about 10.5km. My time wasn't good either. I was just trying to make it home, by the end. So there may be such a thing as too much training. I'm wondering about trying to train more efficiently, working more sprints into my runs, or something like that, rather than just doing these steady runs at different paces.
Anyway, I've felt slow all this week, too. I took the weekend off, and started back with the daily running on Monday, just forcing myself to get out of bed and go on Monday morning. I didn't go fast for the first half of the run (which was only 7.5km), and then felt happy pushing myself faster for the second half, but I tried to look at my effort positively, even though it wasn't a whole-hearted effort. At least I got out, when I didn't much feel like going.
I haven't been swimming for a very long time (since the cottage), so I hope to do that tomorrow, and I'm also hoping to run tonight at my favourite place to do trails (my daughter has a game, rain or shine). I've gotten up early twice this week, and plan to get up early again tomorrow. I'm still working naps back into my schedule, having gotten out of the habit of early work-outs over the summer. Not sure whether I'll swim twice a week, or add in an extra run instead of a swim. It might depend on the weather. When it got really dark and cold last winter, I loved going to the pool in the early morning. But while there's still some light in the morning, I like running instead, and being outside.
I'm also aiming to get to one or two yoga classes every week. One is doable. Two is doubtful. But boy do I need the stretching. Writing all day is hard on my back and I have to remember to take breaks and stretch, here, too.
Last Friday, I ran for the fifth day in a row, and it was really hot, and I ran in the early afternoon, and I suffered. It was brutal, really. I was getting chills by the second half of the run. I did not go 12km as planned, but cut my run short and made it about 10.5km. My time wasn't good either. I was just trying to make it home, by the end. So there may be such a thing as too much training. I'm wondering about trying to train more efficiently, working more sprints into my runs, or something like that, rather than just doing these steady runs at different paces.
Anyway, I've felt slow all this week, too. I took the weekend off, and started back with the daily running on Monday, just forcing myself to get out of bed and go on Monday morning. I didn't go fast for the first half of the run (which was only 7.5km), and then felt happy pushing myself faster for the second half, but I tried to look at my effort positively, even though it wasn't a whole-hearted effort. At least I got out, when I didn't much feel like going.
I haven't been swimming for a very long time (since the cottage), so I hope to do that tomorrow, and I'm also hoping to run tonight at my favourite place to do trails (my daughter has a game, rain or shine). I've gotten up early twice this week, and plan to get up early again tomorrow. I'm still working naps back into my schedule, having gotten out of the habit of early work-outs over the summer. Not sure whether I'll swim twice a week, or add in an extra run instead of a swim. It might depend on the weather. When it got really dark and cold last winter, I loved going to the pool in the early morning. But while there's still some light in the morning, I like running instead, and being outside.
I'm also aiming to get to one or two yoga classes every week. One is doable. Two is doubtful. But boy do I need the stretching. Writing all day is hard on my back and I have to remember to take breaks and stretch, here, too.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Day: running trails at soccer
Ran yesterday morning with my friend for 8.5km to put me at a total of 56km for last week. And tonight ran for what I estimate was about 10km. Unfortunately, lacking a GPS device (okay, that would be a cool Christmas gift), I can't accurately map the trails to figure out how far I went. But I ran as fast as I could for 52 minutes, which, factoring in the steepness of the hills and the heat, should add up for about 10km. Sometimes I can't believe how light I feel as soon as I start to run. All of the heaviness of the day drops away. I was feeling sluggish today, tired, tired of being home with kids all day, tired of cooking and baking, and not getting time to think, and the instant that I picked up my feet and ran, I felt light as air. All of that tiredness dropped away. Yes, it returned during the run, but in a completely different form. I felt like I was working hard, my lungs were digging, my muscles were burning (on steep uphills mentioned before), and the tiredness I felt was there to be pushed through, or pushed against, as if by responding actively I could conquer it.
And get somewhere else.
My daughter was playing soccer tonight, so after 50-odd minutes I ran directly to the field and watched the rest of the game. Now that was hard. It's so much harder for me to stand on the sidelines than for me to run through a fairly high level of discomfort. All it takes to keep on running is ... well, it's just not stopping. But standing on the sidelines, I can't do anything but watch. I can't affect anything happening on the field.
I'm not good at watching. I need to be doing.
And get somewhere else.
My daughter was playing soccer tonight, so after 50-odd minutes I ran directly to the field and watched the rest of the game. Now that was hard. It's so much harder for me to stand on the sidelines than for me to run through a fairly high level of discomfort. All it takes to keep on running is ... well, it's just not stopping. But standing on the sidelines, I can't do anything but watch. I can't affect anything happening on the field.
I'm not good at watching. I need to be doing.
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