Friday, April 1, 2011

Day 246: Time to Think

There is lots of time to think while swimming laps in the pool. And while running long distances. It is quiet and I am alone inside my head. I choose not to listen to music on my solitary runs, because there is enough outside noise and enough multitasking in the rest of my life.

But I often find myself thinking of, well, nothing. Of the activity itself. Of the breath. Or my thoughts gently drift.

I am trying to sort out how and where to focus my considerable energy. The triathlon project has given me direction, but it's also given me endurance and strength, and made me appreciate my own ability to pursue a goal requiring long-term commitment, some pain, and some sacrifice. I believe that I can achieve this goal, and my body is a changed place because of the work done, and continuing to be done. But my mind is changed, too.

I feel the pull of the long-term project. I just don't know where to spend my energies right now. I've completed the draft of my next book (fiction), which is with my editor. I am considering a variety of possibilities, but each one would require of me the kind of commitment I'm giving to the triathlon project; in other words, I could only do one of these things (in addition to the triathlon project, which I'm beginning to see as, potentially, a life-long lifestyle change. I may be getting up at 5:15 for the rest of my life and heading to the pool or the bike or the quiet streets, whether or not there is a triathlon to be raced at the end of it).

What's calling to me? I don't know yet.

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