Day 249: Comparisons Bad

I recently read a very good book by a favourite author of mine: Run, by Ann Patchett. One of the characters is a natural-born runner, her talent beautifully described in a passage where she is running on a track (she is only eleven), so fluidly, so strongly, so effortlessly that everyone stops what they are doing to watch, in awe. I don't run like that, but I see that image as my ideal when I'm running at the freezing indoor track above the ice rink. I've always loved watching runners in races. There is a great deal of tactical and mental skill involved, especially as the distances grow longer--success becomes less about raw power, and more about mental toughness. Today, I ran faster than I've run before; not easily, though. It took effort. Today, I ran 5k in 23 minutes, which is about 4:40 a kilometre--much faster than I usually run (though I realize that is still not terribly fast compared to many). It occurred to me, while running, that those elite athletes must know to the second how hard they can push themselves, and what kind of pace they can endure over particular distances. But in a race, they have to run not only their own race, but the other athletes' races, too. If someone is pushing the pace faster than you'd planned to run, what's the strategy? Hang back and hope the pace grinds the leader down and you can steadily catch back up again? Or change your own pace to match?

What threw me, today, both in the pool and out, were other people. In the pool, I swim virtually every time with the same woman, and we are relatively well-matched. She is faster than me, but not too much faster, and I move aside at the ends when she needs to pass. It's quite peaceful and doesn't tax my mind. But about halfway through our swim today, another man joined our lane. He was slower than me, but more aggressive, and he threw up big waves. All of which I should probably appreciate, as it might give me a slightly more realistic idea of what it will be like to swim with a whole lot of other people in a triathlon situation. But it threw me off more than I would have liked. I felt myself becoming competitive, and paying less attention to my own pace, and more to his. The swim was less fun, too. The friendliness wasn't there. Comparative swimming is not much fun.

I went 50 minutes, then showered, and headed for the track.

At the track, I've gotten to recognize the regular Monday morning runners, and I was hoping that one in particular wouldn't be there--but he was. If this fellow is your friend or family member, or you, I apologize in advance for criticizing his technique, which is really none of my business, but he runs in a very eccentric manner, with his elbows high and out, like little wings, absolutely flailing back and forth, and he runs surprisingly quickly; and he blows his nose on the track, too. Sorry. I had to get that out of my system. Anyway, there he was, storming his way around the track, so I resolved that he wouldn't pass me more than once. (I tellya, he's surprisingly fast). I planned to run 5k at the usual track pace--5 minutes/km. But there was something about running with this guy on the track--it made me want to go faster, so he couldn't pass me. I knew I was pushing my pace, and I knew I was suffering, but I didn't care. I just wanted to beat this guy. (I didn't; but I almost kept up with him).

Again, it wasn't much fun--at least not during the run. (Afterward I felt pretty high, having run faster than I knew I could). Somehow I have to train myself to stay focused on my own pace, regardless of what's going on around me. On the one hand, I can see how competition and comparison can actually spur a person on to greater achievement; there's no way I would have pushed myself that hard under ordinary circumstances. On the other hand, I'd like to have a less comparative mental strategy, long-term and situationally, to get me through the work-outs and through the day. I am (confession) a very competitive person, and I tend to play that down, suppress it, or avoid situations where it might flare up (like board games--do not ask me to play board games!).

My question is: to thy own self be true? Or try to change thy own self? Refine thy true self is probably the answer.

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Last week's summing up: two swims, three runs, one spin, four yoga classes. Total kilometres run: 25.5. Total hours: 10 hours, 10 minutes. Give or take.

This week's plan: two swims, three runs (including the half-marathon on Saturday), one spin, three or four yoga classes.