Day 263: Monday

This morning I reflected on the importance of simply showing up. I did not much feel like getting out of bed at 5:15. I did not feel peppy despite two days off (the party with dancing and drinks on Saturday night, the second of two late nights last week, did not help). I did not feel excited or inspired, and I certainly did not relish the thought of running post-swim. But I went through the motions. I showed up.

And it was a lovely swim. The pool was quiet, and I had the lane to myself for the entire 50 minutes. My muscles felt genuinely rested, and I discovered that my arm strength had improved enough to make my strokes more powerful and efficient. My strokes got sloppier toward the end of the swim, but overall, I enjoyed the relative speed and sense of comfort. And the spit-goggles worked again. My mind was free to wander.

After fifty minutes without any rest between lengths, I got out and took a freezing cold shower. Agh! The rec centre seems to be suffering from plumbing problems. And then I dressed in my running clothes, strapped on my son's watch, and headed upstairs to the ice-cold track. I tried to run faster than 5 minutes/km, but that's about what I ended up doing. The chicken arm man was mercifully absent until my last kilometre, and I was fast enough to avoid seeing him more than the one time. After all that mental whining and resistance, I cheered up at the track and decided to add a kilometre to my planned run: 6k. It was pleasant. Now, whenever I need a mental boost during a run, I just think, hey, you did a half-marathon, you can do this, no problem.

That sense of accomplishment is invaluable. As I ran around the track, I thought about how hard it is to do anything for the first time: you just don't know whether you'll be able to complete your chosen task. It takes a massive leap of courage and imagination. That's still how I'm feeling about the triathlon. And then what a weight lifts when the task has been accomplished: ah, yes, I can do that. I thought that I could, and I tried it, and I did it. The next one will be easier if only because you know what to expect. It's like having children. By the fourth, you're so much more relaxed about everything; yes, surprises can and do crop up, no matter how much experience you have, but experience is a gift. It gives confidence. And it expands your understanding of your own capacity to achieve and to do.

As I munched on a protein bar in the parking lot (I know, gross, but man, I 'd been looking forward to that bar for most of the run), I thought: hey, what a great way to start the day, and the week. And all I had to do was show up.

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Last week: two swims, one spin, two runs, three yoga classes.

This week's plan: two swims, one spin, three runs, three or four yoga classes.